Thursday, April 16, 2009

Let The Freak Out Commence

It happens no matter what you do-even if you taped your eyes open, never ate, wore adult diapers, and did nothing but stare at your child all day every day eventually something not so great would happen to them. Sadly there is no Mommy secret to stop life from happening to our precious babies, we just have to learn how to cope with the idea that things happen. This is not an easy task. When some kind of emergency situation comes up with my kids I go into what I like to call "The Mommy Zone".

You're traveling through another dimension, a dimension not only of sight and sound but of troubled mind; a journey into an eerily calm land which appears with the arrival of emergencies and disappears just as quickly. That's the signpost up ahead — your next stop, The Mommy Zone.
For reasons totally biological and having nothing to do with me, the minute something goes wrong I become hyper-rational, intensely focused, deliberate, and methodical. I develop the ability to project serenity and comfort to my loved one in need (I also happen to behave like this when something happens to Hubby), and minister calmly to their immediate needs and emotional stability. Like I said, this is totally not about my character but instead 100% about chemicals or hormones or some other such uncontrollable body function-still it does come in handy. I really am an ideal person to have around in a bad situation.....just make sure to give me space once things get back to 'situation normal' because I'm cracking apart on you like Humpty Dumpty.

Tonight was a perfect example of "The Mommy Zone". Baby Bug has in the past few days developed a rash, with no other symptoms. No big deal-this isn't my first kid. I ask around and other people confirm my conclusion that it's probably viral-which means there is nothing the doc can do-so I'm okay with that. Then today Baby Bug's rash is 99% gone, and all of a sudden she starts running a fever. It feels like a pretty high fever (which of course I can't take because I can't find our thermometer) but she's acting normally so I don't panic. Then I lay her down for bed and she starts shaking uncontrollably.

I will totally admit that I have no idea how long this lasted. [Time does not exist in "The Mommy Zone".] I call her name, then roll her onto her side facing me and note her behavior in exhaustive detail. Immediately following I check for signs of injury (bitten tongue, petechiae (pinpoint bruising), etc). Then I cuddle with Baby Bug for a moment-who by the way not only doesn't show any sign of illness but seems darn right happy clapping her hands, talking baby talk, and snuggling-after which I dress her for outdoors, load her into the car, and drive her completely calm to the emergency room.

Once in the ER I am discussing in precise, unemotional detail what happened while playing with a very happy Miss Bug. Baby Bug makes fast friends with every nurse and doctor who walks by the room, waving and batting her eyelashes and talking merrily to them while I pet her head and discuss the doctor's opinion that she had a febrile seizure (a generally harmless type of seizure associated with sudden temperature spikes in infants and toddlers). They give her a blood draw, and take a urine sample by catheter (during which I help to hold her down and console her) to figure out what kind of infection could have caused the seizure, and then patiently read to her until they come in and tell me she has a viral infection, but based on her blood draw/antibody dealie she should be getting over it soon.


So I get back into the car with Baby Bug, drive all the way home and then put her to bed, then pack Hubby's lunch, and send him off to work. I talk to my sister and tell her what happened-calmly, because she's still a brand new first time mom and scares easily.

Then I can feel the panic raising in my stomach, so I nudge my sister off the phone and I do what I always do after any coolly handled emergency-I vomit like a sorority girl on MTV Spring Break. Then I cry uncontrollably, obsess about every single possible thing that could have happened in the situation I just dealt with, and then research every single preventative measure I can take in the future (which isn't fun when, as with febrile seizures, there are no preventative measures). Then, of course, there is a lot more crying and a little more vomiting.

And, this time, some blogging. So in conclusion, sorry if this post is a scrambled mess...the good news is everything is back to normal-the bad news is that means this post is coming from the other (more panicky) side of "The Mommy Zone".


Jen said...

I, too, go into the Mommy Zone when something goes wrong with my kids (and husband). As soon as the danger is over, I completely fall apart, like you. I don't vomit (at least I never have yet), but I shake uncontrollably, and cry and cry, and shake some more, and cry...You get the idea.

Here is what happened last week that put me in "the zone":

Mrs. M said...

Thanks for sharing with me-your story was scary!

I think last night the vomiting was partially getting out of 'the mommy zone' and partially "morning sickness"...I tend to revisit it in the last trimester.

Jenny said...

I'm so sorry that happened. Seizures are so scary. I am happy your daughter is fine.

Mrs. M said...

Thanks-we've never dealt with a seizure before and it took a lot out of me. I'm getting less freaked out now...but still watching her like a hawk of course....

I do feel a little sick still but I think that's 3rd Trimester morning sickness (something I'm prone to).

Wifey said...

Yup, I know the Mommy Zone well, and unfortunately the after freakout zone, too. Glad she's ok.

Winks & Smiles,

Mrs. M said...

Thanks Wifey! I'm glad (?) to know I'm not the only one who freaks out afterwards. I always feel a little embarassed.