Sunday, September 13, 2009

How Many Kids Does It Take To Make A Mommy Nuts?

I know that there are a lot of people who don't believe in limiting the number of kids that they have and if it works for them that's fabulous. Still, I have to say, we have three kids and I feel SOOOOO done. I love the kidlets, and I love being Mommy, but I only sleep 3 hours a night as it is-and I don't even want to know what another kid would do to my sanity. Any more kids and I can just picture them swarming around my body while I'm passed out from exhaustion and running around in anarchy ala Lord of the Flies. No set meals, filthy house, and everyone fighting for attention....

This is not a good scenario for anyone.

I like to know my limits and I feel confident my limit is three. There is just one eensy weensy problem with that-Hubby has not had his vasectomy yet. We were going to have it done in July after The Bean was born when he got his vacation, but his work unexpectedly refused to pay out the paternity leave they promised him so we had to cash out his vacation to make up for our losses. Hubby works a very physical job and would have to be out at least 5 days after the procedure before he could return, but we can't afford to take unpaid time off to do it-so that means we have to wait until next July.

There's also another kink in our plan to have no more than three children-I cannot take hormonal birth control. It just destroys my body. When I first started birth control I took the pill. It was okay, except for one thing-we kinda sorta got pregnant while on it. Yeeeeeeeeah.

After Monkey was born, I went on depo....and promptly gained nearly 100lbs in less than a month. I had periods that lasted 6 months and then no period for three. I had constant nausea, and my hormones were entirely out of whack resulting in all sorts of other funness. So I went off of depo (and ruled out any kind of progesterone) and went back on the pill-then I started having chest pains. Since I was born with a heart condition, they immediately yanked me off of it and also ixnay'd both the ring and the patch. After Baby Bug was born I tried to go on the IUD, but it gave me migraines and proved-uh-uncomfortable to both hubby and I in-er-"private" situations. Hubby and I are both absolutely unwilling to abstain long enough to try natural family planning, so all that's left is ingenuity and rubbers.

No offense to our mental dexterity or our good friends at Trojan, but this does not an effective pregnancy prevention method make. Case in Point: The Bean-who, if you remember, is only 14 months and 28 days (64 weeks) younger than Baby Bug.

Needless to say I am scared poo-less. If only Hubby were less attractive, then I wouldn't want to have sex with him all the time and this problem would just solve itself. Unfortunately (?!) my husband is a smokin' hottie and knows all the places to kiss me to make me turn into jello.

Why do you care? Maybe you don't. But I am breastfeeding, so right now I'm missing periods and this makes me FREAK OUT. No positive pregnancy tests [Thank GOD], but I am crackhead-paranoid right now. I've never prayed for a period so hard in my whole life. [And before you say 'you can't get pregnant while breastfeeding', I nursed Baby Bug too...]

I am worried that the kidlets won't get enough attention, I'm worried about my sleep and sanity, I'm worried that we'll go broke, I'm worried that Hubby and I will never get to spend any time together (although spending time together is the whole cause of this mess in the first place), but mostly I'm worried about how I will react. I feel so very, very, VERY done having kids-what happens if I get pregnant now? I don't even want to think about how emotionally devastating it's going to be for me, not to mention I would't want to accidentally give the kid the idea that I had no desire to have more children (which is definitely the case, but kids shouldn't know that).

*SIGH*

All of this craziness better be from a lack of sleep and an impending period or I have no idea what I'm going to do.

12 comments:

Lesley said...

Oh lord...you are in a little bit of a pickle...that's yucky about his job situation!....I was going to say if he gets holidays off...hmmm...there has to be something....to help you until next july!

Scrappy Girl said...

I am VERY done at 3 also...we had a foster son that we had an option to adopt but gave him up because 4 was just too many. I had juggled and sacrificed and practically went insane with 4. My limit is 3. I just pray God knows this too.

Jess said...

Look up Natural Family Planning... charting your cycles, learning your fertility signs (like keeping track of cervical changes - its really not hard) thats what we did for about a year and a half because I refused hormonal birth control... we used NFP and Spermicide (VCF - the film - works nicely and isnt messy! Encare is kind of Messy - I posted about all this on my blog a month or so ago LOL)

The Crazy Baby Mama said...

hmm... i understand your problem.

i got pregnant without any 'warning' period while breastfeeding --

i wish i had some sound advice to you.

Debbie said...

Now that is a sticky situation. I'd be scared too:)

Jenny said...

I go insane on birth control pills! No matter which ones they try for me.

I have my own built in birth control: I'm a sperm killer! Or at least I was 6 years ago, when we were trying to get pregnant. It took 2 years and 5 IUI's to have my daughter.

Now, how one earth do you have time or even feel up to "you know what" if you have 3 kids and don't sleep more than 3 hours at a time? I have just 1 and I'm exhausted all of the time.

Tania @ Larger Family Life said...

You may not believe it but the bigger the family has grown the easier it has beome. I was far more stressed out when I had two than I am now.

Emily said...

Diaphram?

Hmm I was thinking about gettting an IUD (actually tried to get one and it didn't fit, need another try with meds). Its interesting to hear some negative feedback, everyone I've talked to loves theirs.

bluecottonmemory said...

3 is the perfect number! However, when that nest starts emptying out, number 4 and 5 make me feel awfully loved andd not so left behind. Yeah, it's tough early on. It's busy later, but the conversations are definitely worth it!

spivey family said...

Have you or can you try Mirena? I have 4 kiddos and do not want any more!!! I said that 2 kids ago--- hubby is a bit chicken to get the vasectomy, so I tried Mirena- so far so good- crossing my fingers he gets the nerve to get "fixed" :)

Helene said...

Oh man, this is definitely a difficult situation. I read one of the comments about the Natural Family planning method. I actually did that when we were trying to conceive ages ago (didn't work for me but anyway....), you can also do it to prevent pregnancy. It's really just about knowing your body really well so you can recognize the signs of when you're most fertile.

I do understand what you mean about your limit. After our 2nd set of twins were born, I had no problem telling my OB to tie my tubes while doing my c-section. I am D.O.N.E.

Alyssa said...

Honey, you need this: http://tcoyf.com/. It takes some discipline but it is oh-so-accurate and completely natural. Works great for me and my mind is free of worry because I always know where in my cycle I am...and when to use a condom!