Thursday, October 22, 2009

Motherhood-Down and Dirty

How has motherhood changed me? Just look at a picture of me before I had children....
As you may or may not notice, I am very well groomed in that picture. I mean coiffed. My hear is permed and styled. I am wearing make up in that picture. That used to be an every day occurrence...now I consider it a 'fancy' day if I have enough time to put on a bra and pants that have a zipper.

In this picture, though I know you are all far too polite to notice, I am also 40lbs lighter. And who are we kidding, that's not baby weight...that's roughly the weight of my five year old. Truth be told, I have gained 25lbs since delivering The Bean. Turns out eating one meal a day at nine o'clock at night after the kids have gone to bed is the equivalent of metabolism suicide.

Lastly, though you can't tell from the picture, I can assure you that I smelled like vanilla and roses. That was my 'scent' back before I had children. Now my scent is the sour stench of spit up with just a hint of peanut butter, since I have no desire to change my clothes 600 times a day after each time that I am used as a human napkin.

Before I had children I was put together, I smelled nice, and I was thin-but that's obvious. The real secret here is that I wouldn't change the way things are now for all the money-or vanilla bubble baths-in the world. Motherhood has changed me on the inside as well.

Motherhood has given me more patience, enough to answer every "why?" with a smile as I watch my childrens' world expand and their minds open to new things.

Motherhood has made me more compassionate as I realize now that every person on this planet is someone's baby.

Motherhood has shown me how to be more flexible, since nothing ever works out the way you plan it but somehow always works out okay in the end.

Motherhood has made me brave. Brave enough to face my flaws, and brave enough to fix them. Brave enough to say I DON'T KNOW, but I will learn. Brave enough to raise three children five and under on three hours of sleep a night....and if I'm brave enough to do that, there is no stopping me.

I am Mommy. The reader of the bedtime stories. The kisser of boo boos. The recipient of crayon art, couch snuggles, and the pure unconditional adoring love of three amazing children. Motherhood has certainly made some messy changes, but it is still the best thing that has ever happened to me.

[This is written in response to this week's Writer's Workshop. Visit Mama Kat to see more and participate!]

100 comments:

Melissa, Multi-Tasking Mama said...

"brave enough to say I don't know and brave enough to learn" I love that! Motherhood is truly an amazing journey, thanks for sharing yours!

3 Men and a Lady said...

Great post! I also have POST baby weight. It sucks. I need to lose about 40-50 lbs.

Jenners said...

Visiting from Mama Kats...

This was great... I really enjoyed it. I love your description of a "fancy day." Cracked me up!

And don't you wish a perfume company would make a perfume called "Mommy" and it smelled like a freshly washed baby with a hint of powder? We could just put it on to cover up the other nasty smells! : )

Samantha said...

The things our kids to do us...it's amazing! I love it :)

Scrappy Girl said...

Motherhood brings alot of changes...and some great little people!

The (Un)Experienced Mom said...

Great post! I also wrote on this topic on my blog:

http://theunexperiencedmom.blogspot.com/

I agree that motherhood changes us, sometimes not in positive ways, but having those amazing kids makes it all worth it....even the extra weight! ;-)

Tamara

Kekibird said...

Very well put. It's amazing that motherhood can bring such a mixture of ups and downs but with such great joy.

The Crazy Baby Mama said...

ooh, great post. i relate to all of it, and was especially touched by this part:

"Motherhood has made me more compassionate as I realize now that every person on this planet is someone's baby."

i remember having that realization one day - powerfully and poignantly, it came out of nowhere, and has definitely changed my world-view. i do make an exception to mahmoud ahmadinejad and adolf hitler, though. oh, and heidi montag.

K said...

I totally feel you on this one.

I love the mommy version of me, even if it involves stretch marks and really bad hair.

kys said...

Motherhood changes every aspect of your life, doesn't it? Loved your post.

Mama Kat said...

You've got the good, the bad and the ugly all wrapped into one cohesive post. :) Nice!

Widge said...

great post! You had me at "now i consider it a fancy day if i put on a bra and pants with a zipper" haha sooooo true. we are all there with you hun. Found you on SITS

Mainly a midwife said...

I love the bit about being brave...so true.

bluecottonmemory said...

What a wonderful mommy-post! BTW, apparently I changed my name to "Hey Momma," not just mommy. Congrats on your day in the spotlight! Be blessed!

La Belle Mere UK said...

Ooooh, you've just reminded me why I'm NEVER having children!!! ;-)

Have a fantastic SITS day!

LBM xxx

cat said...

A great post girl! You should see my post twin huge baby body. Good heavens - not a pretty picture.

Melissa aka Equidae said...

motherhood is a wonderful experience its true :) and i wont change it for anything else in the world

Fruitful Vine2 said...

I would not change my life for anything in the world either. My boys have changed my life and I cannot imagine it without them.

Claire said...

i love your blog! In particular the layout its so clean and simple...looks great

Elizabeth said...

`Nuff said. That was an awesome post - and so true. Well put, Mrs M!! Happy SITS Day!

kiwimeg said...

"now i consider it a fancy day if i put on a bra and pants with a zipper"

Today I obviously looked a bit flash (I'd brushed my hair LOL) because when I emerged all dressed and shiny my 2 yo asked me if I was going out :)

Christina said...

What a sweet way to describe the positive changes you've experienced. :-)

Mom of Three said...

Love this post. :-)

The Mommyologist said...

I love this post! Loved the bra and zipper comment!

Karen@StrictlySimpleStyle said...

I wouldn't trade all the "fancy" days in the world for one day with my kids. You sound like my kind of Mom!

Congratulations on your SITS day.

Michelle said...

No after picture? We all change over time, mommy or not. I try to prioritize taking care of myself even though it falls low on my list most days.

Sherri @ Luv a Bargain said...

So true and so well put! Especially being brave:) And I'm so glad I'm not the only one that now considers makeup days as "fancy" days.

A Fist Full of Dandelions said...

Isn't it funny how we all think...oh that won't be me when people talk about post baby weight, and not time to eat right, or exercise?

Loved your post and how you also highlighted the positive changes motherhood has brought about.

sweetjeanette said...

Stopping by from SITS. Congrats on OUR DAY!!! What a wonderful view of motherhood. It IS all worth it. (loved your line about eating junk food and watching the Biggest Loser!!!!)

sweetjeanette.blogspot.com

Kim said...

Happy SITS day. I might add my own comment: I can speak fluent 2-yr-old, but have trouble speaking an adult sentence :).

@cheapchichome

FRANNIE said...

Everything you said is just sooo true :).

I personally remember the human nakin, although in my son's case it was the human tissue. When he was just tall enough to reach the hem of my shirt he would wipe his nose on it. Ugh, I know, but you get used to it.

Congrats on your SITS Day...I hope it lasts and lasts :).

Frannie

Jillian Livingston said...

My youngest of three boys just turned five and I am back to my normal weight but my hips will forever be widened.

I am not quite sure that I am happy about how completely I fit the "hippy chic" bill but I am very grateful that low riser jeans and platform boots are in these days.

One thing is for sure, my boys keep me running and whenever I try to eat something naughty they steal it right out of my hands, like little birds. A sure way to eliminate sweets forever.

Forget the weight training and the yoga, just have boys.

Happy SITS day by the way.

Patricia said...

Wow. A GREAT Post. Beeautiful! Well said. It does take bravery to raise three under five! Enjoy it.

Annie @ astonesthrowfrominsanity said...

From one mom to another, I agree wholeheartedly, although after my last post, I would add post babies that my boobs now need origami to fit into any normal bra!
Happy SITS day!

Jacky said...

This was such a sweet post to read. Thanks for sharing with me. I'm not a mother yet, and I'm sure it will change me, too!

happy SITS day!

Mighty M said...

Such a great post! I love being mommy too!! ;-)

glenna said...

Oh yes, the un ending changes of motherhood! Life is a great ride.

Christine said...

I love that I'm not the only one who thinks wearing pants with zippers is kind of dressing up! LOL.
For the record, you look fabulous:)

Jessica said...

But it is so much fun! Just watch the Hills and remind yourself how much worse it could be (or better??)
Happy SITS day!

www.atlmomguide.com

roadrunner201 said...

My mom used to always tell us she was going to change her name and not tell us what it was;-)

And kudos for only needing to lose 40 lbs! I have 100 to lose post baby!

Happy SITS day.

Kelly said...

How cute!

leigh said...

I can so relate to this. Well said mama!

XO
Leigh

Sassy Chica said...

What a lovely post!!!
I agree Mommyhood will do crazy things to you(ask my theighs).

I think you and your blog are FABULOUS!!!

Smooches,
Sassy Chica

~new follower~

Kimmy C said...

Awww- the human napkin. I can totally relate to that! I go to work smelling of spit up all the time!!! :) Just gotta smile, what else can you do?

Creative Junkie said...

Loved this post! I too was a totally different person before I had kids. And while my life is drastically different than before (most of the time it's for the better but MAN, there are days ...) I wouldn't change a thing.

Melissa @Simply Mel said...

Great post and well written. I am also a gainer of weight AFTER I have the baby. I usually lose weight during pregnancy and come out post delivery weighing less than when I started. But sadly, I gain the baby weight back plus some.
Motherhood is amazing and I love it!

Crystalin Dunn said...

I also love the look of your blog-especially the photos of you and yours in the about me section. What else in the world could make us put the health and happiness of others before our own besides having kids? You sound like an awesome mama who adores her new name! Love you blog, and Happy SITS day.

Lacie @ Creative Attempts said...

great post I love when people get so gritty and honest!!

Michelle said...

No after picture????

Lynn said...

I love that your scent is now peanut butter and spit up! Now whenever I get dressed up and put on perfume or what not my kids go "Mom...you smell funny!" Oh really? :oP

My best, Lynn

Rook No. 17 said...

So beautifully written and very relateable. I, too, am heavier and less put together, but wouldn't trade this part of my life's adventure for anything.

Jenn @ rookno17.blogspot.com

Marie cole said...

Mom's like you make the world a better place! :)

Anti-Supermom said...

Perfect post. Exactly the way many, many of us feel.

Tanyia said...

Post baby weight...let's not go there! :O

I totally agree, being a mother is just the most amazing thing. I love being a homeschooling mom as well, I love being with them all the time, during these younger years which are so precious to me as well as to them...even if they drive me flippin' insane sometimes! lol

T~T said...

hee hee - I find it a lucky day when I get in a good shower too!

Rita/Fighting Off Frumpy said...

This is the EXACT reason I started my blog - because I too have the "fancy days" of wearing a bra and zippered pants! I think every mother can relate to this ... or at least, the ones I want to talk to. :)

Mama Kayla said...

Excellent blog! Especially nice layout.

Stopping by from SITS, congrats on getting Featured Blogger! You deserved it!

Bella Crafts said...

It's great how a child will love you despite your bad hair day and no makeup day. Most of the time, I was a "learn-as-you-go" parent!

Small Sprouts said...

Happy Sits Day!

MamaOtwins+1 said...

Exactly what the world of Mommy is about! Happy Sits Day from a new follower!

MariLee Parrish said...

"Motherhood has made me more compassionate as I realize now that every person on this planet is someone's baby"

Ok...I just love that!! Sharing on twitter and with some friends! :-)

Christine aka Mistress of Cakes said...

As we speak I currently have peanut button on my sweater lol. I hear you on the bra and pants thing too!

Marilyn (A Lot of Loves) said...

I'm with you on the compassion thing. I never really had a thought about all the "bad people" out there doing criminal acts. But since I've had kids I tend to feel really sad for these people and their mothers. Assuming they have mothers that care it must just break their hearts. I'm not very eloquent this morning having been up since 3am with sick children but you probably get the idea.

Two Normal Moms said...

Sweet post. Embracing motherhood is the way to go!
Happy SITS Day!
***Ally

MommyD said...

I'm glad I found your blog on SITS! I'm totally with you on 3 hours of sleep a night thing! :) What a great post! Motherhood is truly an amazing venture!

2busy said...

Great post...Motherhood rocks!

Connie Weiss said...

Being mother is great! Even on 3 hours of sleep!

Pam said...

There are many perks of being a mom. Being sleep deprived and a human napkin are not two of them. My kids are 17 and 14 and trust me when I say - you will get a full night's sleep again. Each and every night. And you will buy and wear perfume, your hair will be coiffed and you will have the time and energy to put on a bra and pants that do not need mending. I promise.

Angela said...

I have a 5 and 4 year old. I have art all over my walls and furniture. My dog regularly gets make-overs. My body is destroyed from back to back pregnancies. I find myself enjoying the Fresh Beat Band and Yo Gabba Gabba. Isn't it great!? Who needs zippers anyway?

Cathy said...

You write about motherhood so well. I have a 4 yr old and a 6 yr old and it will get better :). Happy SITS day.

The Dapper Darling said...

I feel ya..someone asked me if I was working out today because I had drawstring jersey pants on...I said..no, I just have a sick child.

Meg said...

So maybe I do have hope left for gaining some patience someday! I can only hope that someday when I have kids I can be that kind of mommy.

Sara's Whimsy said...

Happy SITS Day!

You are a brave Mommy that's for sure!

Mandy said...

Love it~ I can totally identify!

InspiredDreamer said...

Happy SITS Day!!! I seem to have some PRE baby weight to get rid of... like before I even get pregnant. :)

maya said...

Well said! This is a great reminder for overwhelming days.

Hoity Toity Baby said...

your preachin' to the choir!

Chocolate Lover said...

Nicely put!
Happy SITS day!

McMom said...

Yes, a "human napkin" is exactly how I feel. I just needed someone to put it into words!

Amber Page Writes said...

Does the smell of spit up ever go away? I kinda feel like it's permanently etched in my nostrils.

Kelly said...

Good Post It is amazing how little people change us in ways we can not imagine!!!

Mox said...

Happy fb day, SITSA!

Very sweet post.

Melanie said...

Happy SITS day. Great post. Motherhood has made me braver is so many ways as well. My oldest is 15 (I unschooled him for a couple years as well. loved it!) I never would have become the person I am today without my children.

Kristin said...

Boy, do I hear you sister! I've had to stop myself from finishing the dude's chicken nuggets way too many times. Ah ha

Charlene said...

"bra and pants with a zipper" - love it! I also loved it when people noticed I gained weight after my kids and they'd say, "well, you had a BABY." Okay people, the kid was only EIGHT pounds. LOL!

Tasha - Bellazizas Favorite Things said...

The story of our lives! It's a great story though, isn't it?!
Happy SITS day!

Missy said...

What a great tribute to all mommies out there! I too have gained a majority of my weight after the birth of my kids.

Happy SITS day!

Joy said...

So well-written! Congrats on yoru SITS day!

*Mirage* said...

Great post. :) I consider it a fancy day when I make it out of my pajamas and a really posh week if I get more than one shower. Lol!

AmericanTribal said...

This is a great post :)

Ah, the smell of spit-up... I can't wait lol.

Michelle (hometc) said...

Isn't it wonderful? Motherhood is all that you mentioned and...when you get really, really angry with hubby, you can call him a motherf@!#%* and mean it! (Hope that wasn't too graphic, I have an ornery sense of humor). ;)

The girl with the flour in her hair said...

Great post! I can relate...make up is for dress up days and I actually wore slippers to the bus stop the other morning. And not the cute, expensive trendy kind. The kind that came from Avon. :)

But it's all worth it. Right? RIGHT??

Susan said...

Great post....motherhood is a dirty job, but i'm so glad i get to do it (even on those bad days)

Stopping by from SITS to wish you a Happy SITS day!

Maria @BOREDmommy said...

Great Post!!!

Vickie said...

Motherhood does have it's joys and other stuff. I am trying to work on the other stuff.

Becky @ Our Sweet Peas said...

I LOVE THIS POST! I can't relate to it also with twin two and a half year olds. Way to focus on the positives :)

Happy Belated SITS day to you!

Meagan and John said...

visiting from SITS

love it, you are right, I always swore motherhood wouldn't change me but it certainly did

www.mommysdashboardconfessions.blogspot.com

www.attheaniimalhouse.blogspot.com

Scottish Lass said...

I hope you loved your FB day!
So true that motherhood is filled with "I used to."
Just as well we love it anyway!

Summer said...

Found you on SITS!

Great post!

i'm looking forward to every minute of that stuff!

Yaya said...

You are very blessed to be a mother!