Monday, November 2, 2009

It's Like This

Right before my fabulous SITS day, I got an award. I haven't gotten around to it until now (just like so so many emails...but I'm getting there!) but I wanted to be sure to post it, because I feel a particular attachment to this award.

It's the Tell It Like It Is Award from The Crazy Baby Mama for "bloggers who use the language of humor to speak the truth".



Thank you so much, Baby Mama. Now, true to form, I will now proceed to tell it.

I have had it up to my eyeballs with Perfect Mom.

You know the one-she walks around on tip toes and makes flowing hand gestures. She delicately scrap books the daily pictures she takes of her children into a hand made memory book. She uses her Snow White sing-song voice to tell you how beautiful motherhood is and how perfect her children are and how she could never be upset with her "little blessings". I get it. My kids are blessings too, and I love them with all my heart. Truly. But if you are trying to tell me that motherhood is all sunshine all the time you are either:

  • A. Lobotomized
  • B. On enough meds to take out a baby elephant
  • C. Lying through your teeth
  • D. The proud mommy of a Yorkie

My kids are blessings-but they are also tiny ninjas bent on destruction. My kids are angels-particularly while they are sleeping. I love motherhood-but I do not hesitate to extend nap time by an hour when the spawnlings are causing too much chaos for me to handle. I love my children with all of my heart-and some days that is the ONLY thing that prevents me from putting them in large dog crates and selling them on EBay. I get tired, I get mad, I get impatient, I get overwhelmed, I get lonely

and you do too.

Come on and admit it, Perfect Mom. I have actually spent time raising children...you can't lie to me. Say it LOUD and say it PROUD

MY KIDS MAKE ME FLIPPIN' CRAZY [but I love them anyway]

There now, don't we all feel better?

28 comments:

5thsister said...

And why do the "perfect moms" seem to have perfect homes? My house always looks as if a cyclone struck.

Melissa aka Equidae said...

LOL I agree with you!

Scrappy Girl said...

Kill all the perfect moms! They are all aliens anyway! LOL!

PaperbackWriter said...

those 'perfect moms' are the ones whose kids suffer the most, pity those poor children for you know they aren't the ones making pillow forts with the sofa cushions, playing dress-up or make-up with mommy's things, making jewelry or painting or any of the million and one things kids love to do - especially if mom is doing them too!

Let me live in the tornado strewn happiness that is kids, a perfect house can come when the nest empties!

MamaOtwins+1 said...

So true! Especially the nap time part ;)

Noelle said...

you are so right...what is wrong with those people?! here's one of my latest "kids are driving me crazy" stories...check it out...it might make you feel better.

http://elasticwaistbandsandcomfortableshoes.blogspot.com/2009/08/say-cheese.html

Helene said...

AMEN!!! I couldn't have said it any better! In fact, I saw a group of "perfect moms" today when I dropped the kids off at school. They were all standing around in their Juicy couture sweatsuits so they could meet up and walk together while their kids are in school.

But there are rules....you can only fit into the group if you are:

1) super skinny
2) gossip about everything under the sun
3) have perfect hair and makeup, even when sweating
4) you make everyone feel that they are beneath you and not worthy of the slightest bit of attention

Luckily, I don't fit in with the perfect moms!

MrsM said...

I certainly don't condone killing anyone-but the image of the Perfect Mom certainly needs to go.

Jen said...

I will shout that right with you, MY KIDS MAKE ME CRAZY!


Congrats on your award.

The Only Girl said...

Yepper! In fact I've said many times "fortunately they're very cute. It's what's saved me from killing them many times".

Allyson said...

i thought turning crazy was in the job description, no? well i sure as heck have gone to the other side! ha ha

congrats on your fabulous award :)

Ann said...

wait! but they don't sweat (silly Helene!)
;)
With you all on this...they're bringing me down!!

Lindsay Rudolph said...

You are sooooo right! Thanks for tellin' it like it is!

Jenny said...

So true, being a Mom is so hard sometimes!

I think you are right about those Moms being on elephant tranquilizers! Seriously, how else are they sane?

JosiahsMommy said...

Thanks for keeping things real! I have decided my "perfect mom" friend keeps me around to feel better about herself. I am not going to be going out with her anymore. I much prefer the real moms to her!

K said...

Congrats on the award!

I completely agree. I love him. But sometimes I just want a little time out.

kys said...

I say that every day.

Susan said...

Can I just cut and paste this into my blog? Your words are so true....thanks for saying what we all are thinking...

Mimi said...

I have a fridge magnet that says "raising teenagers is like trying to nail jello to a tree!"

Perfect, right?

Anonymous said...

I suffered the most on my child's first year - mommy clubs were not for me - they always had a perfect advice for my "imperfect" child, who did not sleep through the night, who was eager to touch everything and did not listen to "no", and who wanted to breastfeed forever. Then I stopped sharing. Then i stopped going to playgroups. Then i found other imperfect moms and was happy. ;) and my imperfect child turned just perfect to an imperfect mom.

Brodie said...

You have an award at http://1princeand3princesses.blogspot.com/2010/03/another-award.html
loved your post!

bluecottonmemory said...

I am definitely not a perfect mom. My boys will tell you I am not perfect (even if I try to pay them, they won't - well, maybe they could be bought off if the price was high enough). I think some moms have a gift for, saying, keeping the perfect house - and I notice that because that is not my strength area. Some moms are perfectly compassionate and ooze gentleness every second. I notice that because that is not my strength area. Define your strength area and then compare to those "perfect" moms you see. I bet you'll discover that you just have different gifts. That took a lot of pressure out of the mommyhood when I realized that we all bring different things to the table. We are uniquely different beautiful mothers who try to love our kids the best we can!
P.S. I wish I could buy a self-cleaning house. My son told me that there was a vacuume, like the ones that clean pools, that you just let loose. I want one of those!

Momma Such said...

Stopping by to join your party! Sorry, I couldn't find the post!

I'm your newest follower now!
Thanks for stopping by my blog http://raisingmy4sons.com :)

Have a great weekend!

Joyful Learner said...

Thanks for stopping by because now I have another cool blog to follow! Perfection is boring, never mind stifling.

Robynn's Ravings said...

Oh girlie, are you EVER tellin' the truth. Mine continue to make me crazy all the time though I love them dearly. I always feel "less than" when around those PERFECT moms. Must be why I stay behind the computer screen! (Ooops! Just typed computer SCREEM! Might be something here. lol)

Robynn's Ravings said...

P.S. YOUR BLOG IS ROCKIN'! Looks fanTASTIC!

Angie @ Suburbia UNleashed said...

Freakin Hillarious!

Wooden Doll House Mom said...

I have always said that my kids are either going to get me into heaven or keep me out. I'm not sure which yet.