5 Minutes is More Than Enough

Over at Mama Kat's place they are talking about mothers, and it got me thinking. I'm not going to write about my own mother-she's a big ball of crazy, and I haven't spoken to her in four years. If I ever talk to her again it will be too soon. When I was small, my Nana (Dad's mom) was my mother. She did all of the Mommy things, better than I ever could have asked for, but she died when I was only 7. I do my best to emulate her, but unfortunately there have been many situations where her guidance was unavailable and sorely missed. I do have a step mom, a wonderful lady for whom I am very grateful, but I didn't get much time with her either. We only lived together a little more than 3 years and-while she is a terrific lady-we still don't understand much about each other and she always gave all parenting over to my dad.

And so, despite having had three female mother figures, I somehow ended up essentially motherless-and sometimes that makes me really nervous about my own parenting. Can you be a good mother if you don't really have a mother? I like to think so. Still, on days like today I wonder....

This afternoon I made a big mistake-I used the bathroom. I know, I know-I swear I'm not a rookie, but I'd been holding it for like five hours and it was an emergency. [Hey, after three kids your bladder just isn't the same.] I thought I'd be safe. Monkey appeared to be engrossed in coloring, Baby Bug was drinking her milk securely fastened into her high chair, and The Bean was asleep in her swing so I ran upstairs to enjoy the rare opportunity to pee by myself. I wasn't gone a full five minutes, but when I came downstairs it was anarchy.

As I walk into the living room, my feet slosh on the carpet. Yes, slosh. The carpet is drenched-not just a spot either-I'd say probably 6 sq feet or more of carpet, entirely soaked. It seems that Monkey had decided he was going to press the automatic water button on the fridge.....and hold it down....until there was standing water in the kitchen/living room.

This is not all he managed to do in five minutes either. He also acted as an accomplice to Baby Bug, who in this same time had managed to unfasten her safety belt (how "safe" is that?), rip off her diaper and stand up butt naked in her high chair squealing with delight. The diaper itself was no where in sight, because Monkey had decided to hide the poopy diaper under the sink in the downstairs bathroom.

While this was all happening, The Bean-presumably awakened by Baby Bug's squeals of delight-had somehow managed to put one leg over the top of her swing's tray and get stuck. She's five months old...just old enough to get herself into these positions, but not big enough to get herself out of them.

So when I come downstairs after my only solitary pee of the day I am standing in the lake that is now my living room, watching Monkey throw a poopy diaper (aka the evidence) under the bathroom sink while Baby Bug shrieks and attempts to throw her naked body out of her high chair and The Bean thrashes back and forth in her swing and cries like she means it.

And for a split second my only thought was

WHO IS RAISING THESE HOOLIGANS?!

My House-It's Where the Wild Things Are
[Picture from Max and the Wild Things, by Maurice Sendak]

Oh yeah-that would be me....and Hubby of course; my conspirator in raising this roving band of destructive monkeys. As I spring into action to get the girls safe and clothed and start sopping up the water on the floor (with Monkey's help of course) I can't help but wonder to myself-did anything like this ever happen to my Nana? Does this mean my children are out of control? Will they end up in jail/in therapy/in the circus because of this? Am I really a good mother?

As I always do when pondering these things, I came to the conclusion that I can only do my best and pray for God to give my children sense enough to overcome the flaws in my guidance. I wish there was some kind of clear cut sign, some kind of step by step check list of good mothering that I could tick off one at a time (I'm pretty sure "allow children to flood the house and dance around naked" would not be on that list).....but I guess I'll have to settle for loving my kids the best I can in the way I think is best.

I think I'm going to need to look into water proofing the house.