The Scum Between My Toes

I sat down to write about a fight that I've had with my parents and the truth is, I can't think of any. Not that we have never fought, but the last time we really argued was when I was sixteen and that was so long ago I can't even remember what it was about. Now that I am an adult (and I don't live with them, that's probably key) my parents are accepting and laid back and haven't had many ill words to say to me. I also don't fight with my in laws-but not for lack of things to argue about. See, Hubby and I decided a long time ago to let him deal with our relationships in his family and let me deal with our relationships in mine-so my job is to bite my tongue and say whatever it is that Hubby has decided I can say to them. It usually involves a lot of talking about the weather. Still, the Writer's Workshop prompt from Mama Kat this week says that the fight can be real or imaginary so this is the imaginary fight (or furious diatribe rather) that I would have for my in laws should I be left to my own devices with them.

Attention assorted in laws:

You should all be very, very ashamed of yourselves. Even though my husband did manage to become a wonderful person in spite-yes IN SPITE-of all of you, don't you DARE take credit for the way he turned out. You have been hurtful, neglectful, and just plain insufferable towards him as long as I have have known you and, from what I can gather, since the beginning of time. When I hear how you have abandoned him, ignored him, berated him, misjudged him, and underestimated him his entire life it literally makes me want to vomit. You are disgusting.

I know you say that I am not good enough for him and the truth is that most days I agree with you-but I believe God brought us to each other and I work hard, every day, to be worthy of him. You, however, take him for granted. You ignore him or worse! You treat him like he is something to be ashamed of! You favor your other children with your new spouses and treat the man that I love like he was a mistake. A mistake! And how does he treat you? With honor. With forgiveness. With compassion and empathy and kindness that you never give him. I may not be good enough, but you people don't deserve him at all.

You are missing out on the most amazing person that any of us will ever know. My husband is the embodiment of integrity, intelligence, and personal strength. He gladly sacrifices his own happiness to be around you when you'll have him near. He is humble and generous and he gives from his heart. He is thoughtful and chivalrous. He is GOOD. I however am not. If it were up to me I would tell you all to take a long walk off a short cliff if you can't appreciate him for everything wonderful that he is...luckily for you it's up to him, and he is gracious and forgiving of your flaws and poor judgment. As such you may stay in our lives on his good graces and I will say nothing more except this: if I think for one moment that any of you have hurt my husband in a way that I deem to be unforgivable I will rip off your heads and use them as kick balls.

Continue about your day.