Tuesday, March 16, 2010

Family Matters

Okay you're all my friends, right? Good. Because I really need to blow off steam about my stupid family and Hubby's sleeping so...yeah, sorry.

I have just had it with them. My dad is being a total jerk lately. He told me months ago that he wanted to take Monkey out for the day for his birthday. Sure, okay fine...but then I call him to try to set something up and he avoids my calls for weeks. I leave messages and everything, but I get nothing. I finally have to call from Hubby's phone so that he won't recognize the number and he will actually pick up-what kind of ass doesn't answer the phone when their kid calls? Or at least call them back later? My dad, that's who.

So I finally trick him into talking to me (for about two minutes) and he says he'll pick Monkey up on Saturday and spend the whole day with him because my dad and step mom want to take him to the zoo and to dinner and ice cream. Super-sounds fun. Then I talk to my sister a little later and she mentions that, unbeknownst to me, my son will be coming to my niece's birthday party. That's an almost two hour drive from here, out of state! Is it just me or should my dad have mentioned that he planned on taking my child out of state?

And maybe my sister should have, I don't know, mentioned that my niece was having a birthday party. Perhaps even invited me to it...especially since she and my dad planned it so that my son was going to be there...but when I mentioned that I was a little upset about the whole thing my sister said "well, he can just take him wherever he wants-he's his grandpa". Uh F* THAT. I'm sorry, he might be his grandpa but I'm his freaking MOM. Then I flat out asked if I was invited to the birthday party and she said "I guess". She guesses.

It seems obvious that they're trying to do everything in their power to leave me out so I ask my sister WTF is up with that and she says that "not everyone agrees with how you're living your life". Really? What part of how I live is objectionable? I'm sorry if staying home to home school my kids, deciding to have three children, and not making as much money as everyone else in my family makes them uncomfortable but I'm not doing anything wrong-I'm just not doing it their way like they feel I should.

Because, you know, their way works so well. They all have happy marriages and happy children and...no? Well, at least they all have money and we all know how that puts you on the moral high ground.

I have half a mind to set up plans with my in laws before my niece's party and force my dad to bring Monkey home-since I can't just come out and tell my dad that he's being (a) insulting and (b) wildly inappropriate as far as I'm concerned. I don't know I'm just pissed-and, stupidly, hurt. None of this should come as any surprise to me really-they've all been crappy to me since before I can remember-but no matter how many times I go through it I can never seem to get over being just a little bit hurt by their actions.

I do my best at everything and I work really hard. I really truly believe I am doing the right thing by my husband and my children. I have been NOTHING but kind (and accepting, and eternally forgiving) to my entire family no matter how crappy they have been to me. I am a good person-and you know what? I'm kinda done with them.


I feel better. Not that anything is resolved (it probably never will be) but it's nice of you guys to lend an e-ear to a crazy person. I'm going to go get into a hot bath now and try to relax.


Beth in NC said...

I am so sorry. Your family is not treating you well and that hurts. :o(

One. I agree. You should have been informed that your son would be going 2 hours away! I wouldn't be good with that at all.

Two. You should have been invited.

Three. Yes, your father should answer your calls. Talk about planting seeds of rejeciton.

Four. God loves you. He doesn't reject you. Though your family treats you poorly, no matter what you have to forgive them and not allow bitterness to take root in your heart. It will only hurt you (I'm talking from experience).


Heather said...

I SO get this. Weird family issues are totally up my alley. We have had to deal with stuff like this and in the end decided that unless the family members can behave appropriately and trustworthy they do not get access to the kids. We figure that if they treat us with disrespect as the kids parents then why would we trust them to treat the grandchildren right. So far it has worked out well. In one case the situation changed completely and I can trust my dad to take them with no trouble. My stepdad on the other hand, um? No?

Low Expectations said...

Well this just sounds shitty. I can't imagine being purposely left out of your niece's birthday. I'm sorry. I hope your bath did wonders!

Chantel said...

If it were me, my son wouldn't be going anywhere that day because myself, my husband and my other children were purposely left out of this equation. If they didn't invite me, their mother, or him, their father, they don't deserve the presence of any of us. I'd plan another fun activity for the day that I can enjoy with my own family.

Samantha said...

I'm sorry :(

I think he should have definitely told you that he was planning to take him out of state. That's major! And how rude to not be invited?!

Sounds like you all just need to sit down and hash it out...I'm about to have to do that my in-laws. Sometimes, it's the only thing that works. Get everything out in the open, so you can resolve some things?

K said...

Family can be hard sometimes.

Hope it all blows over.

And maybe you should call your dad out (nicely). Who knows - it might help.

Melissa aka Equidae said...

This really sucks to say the least...may i suggest somethng?since your sister organised this with your dad & your dad wasnt answering your calls in the first place, i would tell my sis to tell my dad that my son is not coming with him to any parties or anywhere else for that matter in the near future and till he proofs trustworthy. and you can also tell your sister to F off after. Of course it hurts no matter how many times you go through such things because you know its not right and they are your family. However we can only try forgive what we can change..hugs