Wednesday, March 3, 2010

Instructions

Here are the actual instructions for the use of the pink eye medicine:

  • Clean the eyelids.
  • Pull down lower lid and put in gel.
  • Close eye for 1-2 minutes.
  • Repeat four times per day for seven days.



Here are the instructions I think should be included for use with children:

  • Wrestle child into the chair.
  • Wipe their eye.
  • Wash and disinfect their hands after they rub their eye because they don't like the feeling of their eye being washed.
  • Wipe their eye again, threaten child to keep them from touching it.
  • Wait until child stops screaming.
  • Pull down child's lower lid, dodging your child's flailing arm/foot.
  • Instruct child to open their eyes.
  • Instruct child to open their eyes.
  • Bribe child with candy to open their eyes.
  • Threaten child with blindness if they do not open their eyes.
  • Beg child to open their eyes.
  • FORCE child's eye open using two hands. Have stand by person squirt them in the eye, trying not to accidentally blind child with the tip of the medication tube as they thrash their head back and forth.
  • Quickly grab child's hands to prevent them from rubbing the medicine out.
  • Instruct child to close their eyes and keep them closed.
  • Instruct child that YOU ARE SERIOUS, THEY MUST KEEP THEIR EYES CLOSED.
  • Tell them if they keep their eyes closed for two minutes there will be candy waiting for them when it's time to open their eyes.
  • Find a piece of candy nearby so that you can be sure the child is not opening their eyes.
  • Allow child to open their eyes, feed them candy.
  • Bang head against counter in exhaustion/frustration.
  • Repeat in six hours every day until all sanity (and pink eye) is gone.

7 comments:

Bossy Betty said...

Excellent! Truth in Medicine!

singedwingangel said...

lmbo funny and sadly so true..

Kirsty said...

Oh my word, it sounds a bit like medicating the bunny. Hugs, your last 2 days sound deserving of a year on a beach. Hang in there, pink eye usually clears up within a day or two...

Samantha said...

I couldn't do this, so kudos to you. I can't stand trying to get tylenol into Bree's mouth, much less wrestling her down to the ground to squirt some stuff in her eye. I think I might would just leave and not come back until she's all better..lol

Melissa aka Equidae said...

so exhausting and true

Chrissy MacCEO said...

We are battling the pink eye/s here too! It stinks!!! Your post is so true, putting those drops in is the pits!!

Chrissy MacCEO
www.lifeasaceo.com

Meg said...

This is why every mother deserves sainthood. No kids of my own, but I think I'm gonna give my mom an extra hug this weekend. In my 20's and I still contribute to the insanity.