You know how sometimes you say things to your kids and then you think...'I. CANNOT. BELIEVE. I. JUST. SAID. THAT!'? I end up laughing at myself so often, I thought it would be nice to give you a chance to laugh at me too. So here it is...the ten craziest things I've said to my kids this week (in no particular order).
(To Baby Bug) Get my foot out of your mouth.
(To Baby Bug) You are going to choke on that headband.
(To The Bean) Kitty poop is NOT A TOY!!!
(To Baby Bug) Yes, that [etching in poop she smeared on the wall] does look like mommy. Now wash it off.
(To Monkey) You can't marry mommy...why? Because it's incestuous, and I'm already married to daddy.
(To Monkey) Apples don't feel pain when I skewer them, but your sister does.
(To Monkey) Because teddy bears are not anatomically correct, that's why.
(To The Bean) Just because it smells like bubble gum doesn't mean it tastes like it.
(To Baby Bug) Stop wiping your butt on your bed.
(General Announcement to all Children) It's like Mommy's computer has a speeeeeecial kind of leprosy which makes it so that if anyone under 18 touches it their hands fall off.