Wednesday, January 23, 2008

Absenteeism...Mind, Body, and Blog

I have been gone from my blog several days. I hate that I have already abandoned it for so long after only a couple of days. It's just a baby! It needs the attention!

However, so do my other babies. Like the one that is currently trying to PUNCH HER WAY OUT a whole 28 days early. On Sunday I had to go in to the hospital and low and behold-I was going into labor! I was contracting every 2-5 minutes and was already 50% effaced and around 2 cm dilated on the inside. (Who knew that the inside of the cervix and the outside of the cervix could have different measurements? You learn something every day. In case you were wondering, I was 3cm dilated on the outside.) Luckily we were able to stop her though. No sense being born at 34.5 weeks if we can avoid it eh?

I like to think it's because I threatened to ground her for the rest of her life that she stayed in. Of course, this is total vanity and control issues talking, but hey---if I want to feel like I have power over my unborn child then that's what I'm going to do. Sue me.

Even though we were able to stop me from progressing, we (and by "we" I mean medical professionals) were not able to stop my contractions all the way. So I have been sitting around having mild-to-moderate contractions every 5 to 10 minutes since Sunday and wondering every 10 to 15 minutes if I should call my doctor or go into the hospital again. Maybe it's just the mommy amnesia talking, but I don't remember my pregnancy with Monkey being this hard!

All this hoopla is effecting everything. Not only is it causing me pain which makes me feel divorced from my body like I have absolutely NO CONTROL over what's going on here (which I don't), AND causing blog abandonment, but I have completely lost my flipping mind. For Real. I officially have the attention span of a fruit fly. I can't even concentrate long enough to make a bowl of INSTANT oatmeal for my poor little Monkey in less time than it would take him to grow the oatmeal from a seed. (I'm assuming oatmeal comes from oats...right? Which comes from seeds...right? I don't care enough to Google it at the moment.)

Anywho...I get easily distracted (see?) and I can't concentrate and I am just plain miserable in every imaginable way because of this stupid darling spawn baby that I am in the process of evicting from my tired and broken body.

So that's my excuse for why I was gone. No my daddy didn't sign it, but I swear it's true.