Thursday, January 24, 2008

Doctors and Anger-Inducing Hormones

You would think if a person worked with pregnant women all day they would know that they have to avoid being completely insensitive unprofessional PRICKS. You would think that the hundreds of thousands of dollars they make per year would make it easier for them to have a bad day without taking it out on some poor innocent 9-months-pregnant lady. YOU WOULD FREAKING THINK, wouldn't you?!

Appearantly, my doctor thinks otherwise.

I go in today because I am having (note: STILL having) some serious levels of back pain accompanying my on going contractions, and some nice painful pelvic pressure to go along with it. I assumed that they would want me to go in...since those symptoms are on the list of things the on call doc said to come in for. So I make an emergancy appointment and go in (it's better than spending 5 hours in the L&D just to get rereleased). The nurse comes in and does her thing-a nice little gal, seems kinda new but appears to know what she's doing-and then she tells me to get undressed for the pelvic and the doc will be in shortly. Okay. Totally normal.

But then he comes in all blustery like and says "Well, this is probably nothing-just you being pregnant-but I guess I can check you anyway." Mighty freaking wide of him. So he measures my fundus hieght and checks my breathing (wha?) and then stalks out. I'm thinking 'is this guy coming back or what?' when the nurse pops her head in and says they'll be right in.

The doctor comes back after like 10 minutes and they proceed to do the FASTEST PELVIC EXAM EVER. For real-it was less than 10 seconds. He doesn't say one word to me-doesn't even look me in the eye-and then he walks out. Again, poor little nurse gal pops her head in and mentions that he does indeed plan on returning. When he comes back he proceeds to tell me that he ordered me a pregnancy support band and that he wants me to cancel my next appointment. So I ask him " was going on in there?" and he says to me "oh, you're like 1 cm dialated and not effaced".

This is the point where I get confused. I'm pretty sure I remember from my first pregnancy that you can't progress backwards...and at my last pelvic less than a week ago they told me that I was between 2 and 2.5 cm dialated and 50% effaced. So I casusally mention to him "I'm confused. I was told last time that I was 50% effaced and 2 (possibly even 2.5) cm dialated." And he says to me "Well, that's really a subjective thing. But I'm right."

Ooooookay. Whatever.

So I ask him when to schedule my appointment, since he is making me cancel my next one. He says to schedule it in two weeks so that they can do the group B test because "they always do it at 36 weeks". So I mention to him "Well, I'm going to be 35 weeks tomarrow-is it okay if you do the test at 37 weeks or should I schedule my appointment for a week from now." At which point he looks me in the face and tells me "You're only 34 weeks".

EXCUSE ME?! I don't flippin think so buddy! So I tell him "Uh, no. My due date has been February 29th up until I got my last ultrasound which changed it to February 28th, which would make me 35 weeks tomarrow."


He goes into the little office next door and starts YELLING at young nurse gal. He says to her "you better figure out that her due date is March 4th" and the nurse says "well, according to her ultrasounds she's due February 28th or 29th" and he says "No! I'm right! You need to look at this and make it so I'm right" to which little nurse gal says "well, I was just going off the ultrasound" and the doctor storms back into my room and says "you're due March that would make you 34 weeks and 1 day. Schedule your next appointment for 2 weeks from now when you are 36 weeks" and storms away!

I am not freaking kidding you.

My doctor had a flipping temper tantrum like a petulant four year old. Who am I kidding? My four year old would be embarassed to be associated with someone so immature. Of course, I am pissed as all get out....and I totally can't get over it because I am so pregnant my hormones are bouncing off the walls. As I sit typing this almost 12 hours later I am still FURIOUS. By the way, I'm reporting him to the head doctor and then switching to another doctor in the same practice.

ALSO ON MY BAD SIDE TODAY: My step-mother-in-law. She wrote a post on her blog (which I refuse to link to...sorry for any who might be curious) about fat people that was COMPLETELY aimed at me. Oh, I'm not being paranoid and oversensitive-I read it to hubby and he totally agrees that it was a total pot-shot at me. She wrote about how she thinks that fat people are lying when they say that they watch what they eat or that they excersize, and how being hungry is a good thing. Then when someone commented that not all overweight people eat with wild abandon she said that it's obvious that someone is lying about what they eat when they go out to a mexican restaurant and eat everything on their plate-since her daughter can make three meals out of one mexican platter. Then she says that these fat people who lie about what they eat are obviously also dishonest in their daily lives as a rule. So basically, my step-mother-in-law just used her blog to call me a big fat liar.

I'm not going to post any type of comment-although things certainly come to "If you think hunger is a good thing, you have obviously never been hungry" or "If you are encouraging your teenager daughter to make three meals out of one you are a sick, sick bastard." I just am not going to take myself down to her level.

That doesn't mean I'm not going to sit around in my hormonally pissed off state and hope desparately that someday her always-skinny figure turns into one that would rival Jabba the Huts.