Friday, January 18, 2008

Energy Crisis

There is a decided lack of energy that is taking me over. Don't get me wrong-I have been a lazy bum most of my pregnancy-but today for some reason I have developed a level of lethargy that astounds even me.

My...I mean "our" sits directly in front of the fridge. It is seriously less than two feet away. However, rather than get up and get myself a soda from the fridge I waited almost 30 minutes until Hubby went to get himself a snack from the fridge and then asked him to pass me one. Because I didn't want to have to stand up, rotate my body 180 degrees, open the fridge, remove the desired item, close the fridge, rotate my body 180 degrees, and then sit back into my computer chair. How lazy can one broad get?

In my defense I am 34 weeks pregnant, which is almost as good as being entirely defunct.

Today I have also been crazy. This is the scene in my home this afternoon as best as I can remember it:

When I told my husband to stop eating my candy in a voice that I thought was entirely pleasant, he started laughing at me. Of course that only pissed me off, so I interrogate question him as to why he thought I was so funny. Finally he said:

"You know those shows on the nature channel? Where they study animals?"

"Um yes?"

"You look like one of those mama bears protecting their cubs!" [Insert husband's hysterical laughter as he reaches in to grab another piece of candy.]

"That is NOT what I am like!" [I innocently and very gently punch my husband in the arm.]

"Help! I'm being attacked by a polar bear!" [Husband dashes away with his pilfered loot.] "Quick! Run downhill! Everyone knows bears can't run downhill!"

"Bears can so run downhill."

"No they can't."

"I can."

"You can't even run on a flat surface."

"I could if I had to."

"Not even if you weren't pregnant!" [Husband continues laughing hysterically.]

[I punch husband in the arm...this time like I mean it.]

"Stop it! My face hurts from laughing too much!"

"I'll make your face hurt!"

[Even more hysterical laughter as I snatch my candy and put it back in it's home to hoard it.]

Perhaps I am being unreasonable. Perhaps I am just pregnant. Or perhaps I am a polar bear in disguise.