Sunday, November 21, 2010

Holiday Stripdown

You know what really makes Thanksgiving special? Family, thankfulness, good food and, of course, gettin' jiggy with your friendly neighborhood TSA agent. Nothing can make you feel that holiday glow like going through the naked-maker before you get on a plane...except maybe refusing to go through it and having to getting really, really personal with Shanaynay in Airport Security. Nothing says "Happy Thanksgiving" like getting grabbed in the naughty bits, in public, by a complete stranger.

Just like the Pilgrims.

But let's say that you're just not feeling up to public molestation this holiday season (and who could blame you? Especially on the return trip when you can barely button your pants)-you could always opt out. Ride a train, take a bus, drive your car...teleport! Separating, evaporating, and then reconstructing all of your molecules thousands of miles away would be less invasive after all. Plus if you decide to opt out of air-grab-ass on the 24th you could actually make an important social statement about your Constitutional rights at the same time.

If you had no plans to fly anywhere (due to an unnatural fear of flying like I have or if you were already protesting) you can always call or write your Representative and/or your Senator
and invite them to enjoy a free plane ride/public groping...on you.

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