Give Big! Do It!

You know how I said that I wish I could Give Big? Well now I can. No, I did not win the lottery or become a hundred-thousand-aire over night. All I did was a little research...and guess what I found. A way to give back.

It's called GoodSearch. It's a search engine that gives 1 cent to the cause of your choice for every search you input. Of course, they don't want you cramming a whole bunch of fake searches in there, but if you're like me and you're constantly looking things up online you can earn a whole lot of money for your favorie charity, church, or school.

It's just as simple as that. So go ahead-do it! Give BIG in a way that costs nothing.

The Spirit of Giving

I love Oprah's Big Give. It makes me bawl like a baby watching all of those people get the help that they need. It makes me wish I were a gabillionaire (or even just a plain-old hundred-thousand-aire) so that I could give like that too.

After watching the show last week I thought about what I would do if I had the $100,000 challenge. What kind of places would I give to? Knowing that I could only give $10,000 at one location and/or $500 to each person, without giving cash...hmm...

I think what I would do would be to go around to different organizations and ask them what they needed and then just come back with $10,000 worth of supplies. The interesting part would be finding what kind of organizations I would give to.

I think the first place I would give to would be a Maternity Home. Not very many people know they even exist, but a Maternity Home is a shelter for homeless pregnant women that is run in a home-like setting, such as The House of Ruthin Portland, Oregon (my oft-missed hometown) which provides shelter and emotional care for homeless pregnant woman (and their infants, once they are born). I would also donate to a place like the Pregnancy Resource Center, which provides kind of an alternative to Planned Parenthood.

Then I would have to give to at least one place that helps homeless and disadvantaged teens (The non-pregnant kind). A place like Springwater Transitional Livingor Outside In, which provide shelter, job training, and life coaching for homeless youth. Or an organization like The Gateway Project, which provides new clothes, school supplies, transportation, and funding for extra cirricular activities for students in their school district who are homeless or destitute. Another great organization is Central City Concern (again, of Portland-woot!) which helps people get sober and find homes and jobs. They also have a special program for homeless veterans.

I would also donate to an organization that helps families in need-like Habitat for Humanity and the Goosehollow Family Shelter. And, finally, I would donate to organizations that help people/children with disabilities like Bike First! which helps children with disabilities enjoy one of the simple milestones of childhood by teaching them to ride a bike. I also like Easter Seals Disability Services which provides pediatric services, fun camping activities, and fun/therapudic water activities for people with special needs.

There are so many great organizations out there that I would love to donate to with my pretend money, if only pretend money could buy the things they so desparately need. And then there is my other thought-I would love to go to a low income housing development and knock on all of their doors and write a check for their rent. Seriously-just knock on as many doors as it took to pay $100,000 worth of low income families' rent. It'd be worth it just for the smiles on their faces. I mean, if they looked anything like what MY face would look like if someone paid MY rent.

In honor of the Big Give (and in leiu of spending money that I just don't have) here's what I'd like to do. I would like to encourage all of you (or any of you) to write your own post about how YOU would have spent the $100,000 challenge. Remember-you can't give more than $10,000 in one place, and you can't give more than $500 to one individual (families count as separate individuals so you could give a family of four up to $2000). Please include in your post at least one link to a charitable organization and one link back to my blog, and then comment here so I can go check out your post.

Then I will (possibly) give you something. How about this--I will have a drawing and then I will work with the winner to make a new page layout for their blog! There are limitations though-I have only worked with Blogger so far, so if you are a wordpress-ian or some other blog-host-ian I won't be able to help. If you win and you aren't on blogger (or don't want a layout change) then I will post a big congratulations post linking to your page and then put your site feed on my sidebar for a week. How about that? I know it's not a lot, but I'd really like to see what other people would do for their own Big Give.

Think of my prize more like the Teeny Tiny Give.

Let's Be Friends!!

I am not a people person. I know, strange way to start a post called "Let's Be Friends!!". Go with me on this.

I am not a people person in real life. I am the type of person who perfers to have one best friend than a thousand people I can casually go out to dinner with, and I always have been. At the moment I have two best friends (if you count Hubby) and an old friend (someone who used to be my best friend, and still rocks, but we're not as close as we used to be) and that is more than enough for me. Friends require maintanence and I generally don't have the time or energy to care deeply about more than a few people's feelings. Maybe that says something about the intensity of my feelings for people that I actually consider my friends or maybe that says something more like "I have a giant personality flaw". Either way, it is what it is.

Plus someone has got to keep my husband approaching people with an appropriate level of skepticism and caution. That man is friendly as a labrador puppy and just as trusting. But I digress....

While I may be a bit of a hermit in real life I LOVE MAKING BLOGGY FRIENDS! They're the perfect kind of friends for me-convinient, low maintanence, and HILARIOUS. I am always on the lookout for more people that I can read and enjoy trading stories with, so recently I have found myself going through my blogroll's blogrolls. And I'm glad I did.

While purusing Helen's blogroll I was lucky enough to find Matt at Licensed To Blog and through him Allison at That's What She Blogged. This husband and wife are nothing less than comedic gold-I don't know how they get anything done if they make eachother laugh as much as they made me! Matt's recent post about being the creepy guy at Walmart almost made me pee my pants! Then I saw his wife's "artist's rendering"....and threw down the laptop and rushed to the bathroom.

If you're looking for a fun read definately take a look. And if Matt and Allison read this-LET'S BE BLOGGY FRIENDS! I'm much friendlier online than I am in real life I promise.

Mutiny On HMS Mommyship

Arrrrg Matey. We have ourselves a wee pirate we do. Today Captain Monkeypants sailed the livingroom carpet with his scurvy first mate Teddy, rummaging and pillaging, leaving a trail of tears and stolen cookies behind them. And don't forget the incessant bellowing of:

"Look Mommy! Look Mommy! Mommy! I'm A PIRATE! Arrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrg!"

This was adorable. No really, I mean it. I don't mean adorable like I normally do where adorable=toxically obnoxious. It was actually so precious-so filled with that little boy wonder and imagination.

Then the tides started to turn. What was once a piratey arg slowly morphed into the screetching wail of a preschooler who wanted to sit in mommy's lap. RIGHT NOW. Never mind that Baby Bug was nursing-it was essential that he sit in my lap at THAT moment and that I read him his pirate book.

I, being the multitalented multitasker that I have been forced to become, switched the Bug into a football hold and let Monkey crawl on my other side with his pirate book so that I can nurse the baby and read to him at the same time.

Then hubby (the real Captain of this crazy crew) decides that he needs me to look in the phonebook for a number he needs. Because he can't find it. It's obviously NOT IN THERE. So why don't I just look and make sure it's really not in there.

So picture this-I have one child nursing on one side, one child sitting on my lap turning pages, and me reciting the pirate book from memory while I reach around Monkey's back to flip through the phonebook on the end table.

Even that was okay. Even cool--it shows off my madd mommy skillz. But then everyone noticed that mom had divided her attention and that everyone was only getting a 33% effort. Monkey started wailing and using the bottom corner of his book to stab me in the leg to get my attention. Baby Bug started turning into crazy pirhana baby, thrashing her head around and sucking whatever was closest to her (not always the part where the milk comes out) and making this horrid little screeching noise. Hubby then walks up behind me and starts asking me something. Probably something about the company I was looking up for him. Who knows?

I couldn't hear him so I guess it doesn't count.

The crew is going crazy, the Captain is busy contributing to the chaos, and the navigator/ship advisor/scullery maid (that's me) has had it up to her eyeballs with the whole mutinous lot.

Arrrrrrrrrrrrrg mateys.

Promises

I am mentally ill. I can't stop making layouts. In my defense, I just learned how to use a background image over the entire blog rather than just using a solid color. I HAD to try it. It's like if your favorite candy had a new flavor.

Mmmmmmm....this new layout is tasty. What do you think?

I think that no matter how I promise to the contrary, I will tweak this blog over and over again to appease my sick need to find something better. So instead of promising that I'm going to stop changing I'm going to say that I promise to strive to bring you the best looking layout I know how to achieve. That seems more do-able.

And promises should be do-able. This is one of the many things I have learned as a parent-when it comes to promises aim low. That way you know you can always keep your promises and remain trustworthy in your kid's eyes.

DO NOT, for example, promise your child that they can go out and play in the next snowfall unless you really really mean it. Even if it is mid-March and there is "no way" it will snow again this season.

Is it overly egocentric to think that God made it snow on March 26th to teach me a valuable lesson in parenting? Probably. But even if it was just a happy coincidence, I have certainly learned my lesson. You can always do more than you promise and it will be happily received. You can never do less than you promise without compromising your esteem in someone else's eyes.

Especially in the eyes of a snow crazy 4 year old with a memory that'll blow your mind.

Holy Shrinking Mama, Batman!

I went to the doctor today to start the gallbladder process, and everything went well. They decided they wanted to do a CAT scan to look at the stones, but before they could schedule it they had to give me a pregnancy test. It's "routine". But you know what?

I was still nervous.

Seriously. There was no reason for me to be nervous-we're EXTREMELY careful-but for some reason the thought of having a 4 year old, a 5 week old, and finding out I am pregnant again was flashing before my eyes. I may have vomited in my mouth a little. It's all good though-we're NOT pregnant (phew) and we can go ahead and get this gallbladder removal party started.

That totally isn't the best part though!! What can be better than fixing a rediculously painful medical malady?

HOW ABOUT LOSING 53 POUNDS?!

Oh yes I did.

To explain this fully we have to go waaaay back to when I had our son. My prepregnancy weight was 149lbs. Not great, but still within the 'healthy' range for my hieght (barely). During my pregnancy I gained 23lbs and delivered at 171lbs. Again, respectable by any standards (especially mine). At my 6 week post partum check up I had lost the baby weight and then some weighing in at 135lbs. Totally awesome. Not complaining.

Then I went on depo.

For those of you who have never been on depo DON'T DO IT! No one warned me about the possible side effects. You know like having 6 month long periods (which I got) then having no period for 4 months (which also happened to me). Or how about gaining almost 100lbs in less than a month? Yep. Me. Up to 224lbs. And no one warned me. I didn't even think it was possible!! Depo completely messed my hormones up. I couldn't lose the weight and we also couldn't get pregnant once we started trying--no matter what I did!

I went off Depo in March 2005 and needless to say by 2007 people started to think that "depo weight" was code for "I'm a fatty". Then we found out the last week of May 2007 that my hormone levels were finally back to normal. A week later I was pregnant. And I was totally freaked that I was going to end up 300lbs by the end of my pregnancy.

I shouldn't have worried though. I delivered Baby Bug at 198lbs-down 28lbs from prepregnancy!-partially due to gallstones/morning sickness and partially due to finally being able to loose that depo weight.

But would I continue to loose weight, or was that all I would get?

Today at the doctor's office they weighed me. 5 weeks and 5 days after delivering our daughter I weigh 171lbs! For the first time in longer than I care to remember! That makes my total weightloss from pre-pregnancy a whopping 53 lbs! I am so excited!!!!

I am slightly less excited when I realize that I was 171lbs when I delivered Monkey at 43 weeks pregnant...it makes it seem like I still have a long way to go....but I'm take huge leaps in the right direction and-for now-that's enough for me.

Well, that and getting these darn gallstones out!

Sorry Sorry Sorry

I'm horribly addicted to page layouts! ARRRG! I can't stop myself!!! So yeah, the page will look funky for a while again.

Don't stop visiting me-I promise it won't get too bad.

I think.

So Cool I Should Have Made A Title For It

I'm stealing this super awsome meme from Erin...don't worry, she said it's cool.

The gist of it is that you go to photobucket and type in your answer to the questions and then pick a picture FROM THE FIRST PAGE to represent your answer [or if you're like me answerS].

Here goes....

What is your relationship status?


What is your current mood?


Who is your favorite band/artist?


What is your favorite movie?


What kind of pet do you have?


Where do you live?


Where do you work?


What do you look like?


What do you drive?


What did you do last night?


What is your favorite TV show?


Describe yourself...


What are you doing today?


What is your name?


What is your favorite candy?

That was awesome wicked-fun. Thanks Erin!!!

It's Childbirth x 1000

When I was 17 I had meningitis. I have also managed to push two children out of my body with an accumulated labor time of 28 hours and 27 minutes. These are relatively painful experiences.

They don't even TOUCH a gallbladder attack. Not even close. Even if you combined all the pain from the other most painful things I have ever done, comparing that to gallstones would be like saying a kitten scratch was the same as being mauled by a lion.

It's not even in the same ballpark.

I went into the hospital in excruciating pain when I was almost 25 weeks pregnant. They did an ultrasound to check the baby and discovered that I had a little more than a baby in there.

That picture totally doesn't do the things justice. When she flipped the little wand around and looked from a different angle [that I didn't get a picture of] you could see that the entire bottom side of my gallbladder is LINED with stones. When I asked how many the tech said "I don't really have time to count them all"!

No matter how much they hurt, they really couldn't take them out while I was pregnant cause of that whole surgery thing effecting the baby. Which I totally understand but still-the last 15 weeks of my pregnancy were painful. By the end I was having 4-10 gallbladder attacks a week, obviously sometimes multiple attacks a day, lasting about 4 hours apiece.

In case you've never known anyone who has had a gallbladder attack they feel like you're having a heart attack...while being stabbed and burned repeatedly in the stomach and back. The pain is constant and there's no position you can get into to make you feel better and it hurts so bad that you wish you would pass out from the pain just so you can have some relief for a moment. You know those movies where they show sick people in beds that are moaning really loud and writhing back and forth? I wish I could say I was being dramatic.

Anyway, since I've had Baby Bug they've been happening a lot less. I had three attacks the night after I had her, but afterwards I've only been having about one a week. Until yesterday. I had THREE in one day yesterday. When the last one started I noticed that my pee was turning orange (a sign of bilirubin issues=liver problems) so I went into the ER and they checked my liver function and discovered it was bad.

Like dark brown/orange pee bad (sorry if you're squeemish).

So yeah, I'm seeing another doc tomarrow and we're going to talk about when we can get this thing out but it will probably be this week or next. I'm a little freaked about having surgery (I've never done that before) but it can't hurt any worse than gallstones!

I'll keep you posted*

Good News!

I did not fall off the planet, nor did my fingers fall off after my obsessive quest to be the fastest fingers in the west .

I was actually busy with real-life happenings yesterday. I know-how boring. Usually. But yesterday was totally awesome!! My parents came into town*

I ** my parents! They are so awesome and fun, and it is SO CUTE to see them with Monkey and Baby Bug. My dad was...hesitant...about his grandfather status when we had our first son. Understandably so-my dad was significantly younger than most other people called "grandpa". I mean, he wasn't anywhere near collecting social security or becoming a member of AARP. I knew people his age who were still having babies of their own! He really struggled with the image he had in his head of what grandpas are and what grandpas do. He seemed to think that once one becomes a grandparent they must immediately return their Harley, trade in the leather vest and earring for a cardigan and glasses. He did not feel that he was ready to go to bed while the sun was still up, or wake up at 4am for his morning coffee rituals.

And most of all he didn't want someone calling him grandpa. THAT MAKES HIM SOUND OLD!

My step mom had no problems being grandma, but then again she also knew what my dad eventually came to realize himself-being a grandparent doesn't mean you have to start darning socks and talking about "the good old days". A grandparent is just a person whose child has had a child of their own. AND THAT TOTALLY ROCKS. I mean, there's the revenge aspect (I hope you have a child JUST. LIKE. YOU.) but there's also something really cool about having all the fun of kids without any of the responsibility (so I hear).

But now that we had our second, and my dad has already settled comfortably into the world of grandpa (since he got to keep the hog, the vests, and the earring) it is so cute! Watching my dad-MY DAD who I remember in my head as a 26 year old guy-holding my baby girl and making those cooing noises at her. It's so wonderful to see how proud my dad is of me, and Hubby, and our kids and how much he now LOVES being grandpa.

It's also great to see my step mom walk through the door and immediately swoop up our girl and begin telling her that she is the most beautiful baby in the whole world. (Well, she is!) And then watch her crawl on the ground (the priveledge of the young grandma) with Monkey and play cars exclaiming over and over again how SMART he is. (What? He totally is!)

There is something amazing and wonderful about watching your parents with your children. Just as, I'm sure, there's a something extra special about watching your children with their own children.

Nothing's better than family!

*

The Million Dollar Fingers

Thanks to Dee Dee I am a crazy zombie eyed monster!! Okay, so the zombie eyed monster part isn't her fault, but the crazy...well, is partially her. See, she's the one who got me hooked. Hooked on typing tests.

I have a somewhat compulsive personality by nature, and I am quite the perfectionist, so the typing test was designed to hook someone just like me. "All you have to do" is type the words on the screen for 60 seconds while they keep track of how many words you type correctly. That tells you your net score, which is how fast you type (minus errors).

The problem is this: once you see your typing score you will not be able to stop! You will want to beat your "score". You will want to prove that you can do more! And it makes you believe that this test is the way to do it. The typing test can make you stronger....faster....it HAS the technology! If you just keep typing you know that you can become a typing super star.

Because there is so much fame, recognition, and money in being the fastest typer.

I admit, I was a little disappointed in myself. I got 95 wpm which I know is good on the surface but seeing how I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR MEDICAL TRANSCRIPTION that makes that score basically pathetic. I am so out of practice-so used to my leisurely blogging and purusing of myspace that I lack the discipline to pull down the same numbers I used to. Not that a stay at home mom really has any reason to type faster than that. Seriously, what practical application would that have in my life? None.

Except to brag to my husband that I can type circles around him. And even that's not very fun considering the fact that he hen pecks with two fingers most of the time. I guess I could rub it in Monkey's face....once he's allowed to use the computer....but that's no good either. Making fun of little kids=not cool.

I guess I can say that I'm doing it for the personal satisfaction, but that would be a lie. The cold hard truth is that I'll do it because I'm a woman obsessed with being the fastest typist in the west.



95 words

Speedtest

Relations and Relationships

I have to preface this by saying that I have had very little sleep and I, therefore, am a giant cranky pants. All of my stormy emotions are just simmering beneath the surface waiting for someone or something to dig just a little too far and hit the emotional pay dirt. And by pay dirt I mean a fount of angry lava.

Needless to say, this is NOT the time for my in laws to contact me.

Okay, I need to say that I have two sets of inlaws. It's not really surprising in this age of divorce, but I need to say this so that I can distinguish between them. One set of them includes my husband's mother and my husband's step dad. True, we've had rough times in our relationship-Hubby's mother was...uh...hesitant to embrace me during the first four years of our relationship-but recently we have been doing great. She even admitted to my Hubby that while she and I may not love eachother yet that she has come to respect me as a good wife and mother. And that's enough for me, certainly for now. Noah's step dad is pretty stoic, but from what little I have heard from him he doesn't hate my guts or anything. I call this set of inlaws "hubby's parents" because he spent his life living with them and because the alternative group are, well, less than pleasant.

I call them The Inlaws. These people include Hubby's dad, step mom, and grandmother. Without going into too much nitty gritty personal detail, let's just say that these people treated my husband horribly as a child and continue to do so now. They also do their best to demean our children, undermine our parenting and our marriage, and put my husband in emotionally awkward situations. I have had it up to my EYEBALLS with these people, and frankly they make me ill.

The most recent situation is the death of my husband's great grandfather. He lived a very long and good life, however my husband was not close with him and had infact only met him a few times. We get an email from Hubby's dad informing us of his great grandfather's death...but he USES that email-the email about a death in the family!-to imply nasty things about me, and to try to pick a fight. I can't believe these people!

I think my opinion of them only gets worse because my parents are coming into town this weekend. I can't help but compare my parents with my In Laws-I know I shouldn't, but I do. Let me say this-my parents and I have not always gotten along. We by no means have a perfect relationship, I'm not a "daddy's girl" or anything. Hardly-my parents (my dad and my step mom) and I had some rough times in our relationship too. That's why I've lived on my own since I was 16 [but that's another post]. In the end though, we're still family. We still treat eachother with love and respect. We still behave like decent human beings. My parents are still good parents and good grandparents.

I wish The Inlaws behaved like that. I wish my husband could have a relationship like I have with my dad with his own father. I wish I could just fix it all--because that's the hardest part to me. I don't really care how they treat me because in the end they are irrelevant as far as I'm concerned. But watching the way they treat my husband, the awkward situations they put him in, the way they try to "make him choose" between them or me (not that he would). It just makes me so angry I want to pinch them!

They Call The Zombie 'Mommy'

Colic is the politically correct term for a baby that cries for long periods of time. For no reason. And nothing will make it better.

If I complained for long periods of time for no reason and nothing and no one could fix it there are a lot worse things people would say about me.

But in a newborn, it's "colic" or "active temperment". Call it whatever you like, it is the thing that sleepless nights and days are made of. It's the reason the hubby and I have to sleep in 4 hour shifts like firefighters or paramedics. Except we don't get paid as well. And we don't work 4 days on 3 days off. [Ha! I wish.]

Sometimes I can feel myself getting a 9th wind and the sleep thing doesn't bother me as much. By not bothering me as much I mean that I am able to stop myself from blacking out with exhaustion. I don't mean going to sleep-not even passing out. I mean literally blacking out. One minute I'm awake and the next minute I am sleeping a dreamless sleep...then I wake up and don't even realize that I was asleep. I can't even try to tell you how long I was sleeping for because to me it just felt like blinking.

I'm sure you can see how that would create an issue.

It's rough to control a 4 year old and a newborn when mommy shuts off like a light switch at random times for no appearant reason (as far as the kids are concerned). Luckily Monkey is equipped with a voice as loud as a foghorn and one of his favorite activities is waiting until you are fast asleep (or on the phone) and then asking you a thousand questions AT THE TOP OF HIS LUNGS. If I do not respond to him he falls back into the old stand by.

Mommy?

Mommy!

Mommymommymommymommymommymommymommymommymommymommymommymommymommymommymommymommy

That is the only reason I am not peacefully blacked out right now.

And, coincidentally, is how I came up with the name for this blog!

Blog Madness

I have become a blog fiend. Oh yes. I'm posting more than ever and reading more than ever and even forgoing hours of all too precious sleep to get online. (Oh yes I did.) It's completely not my fault though. I am powerless over my addiction to the internet, and now I have cable internet as my high speed addiction facilitator. It's electronic smack, baby.

One of the justifications I used for needing a super-fast-cable-connection was that I would get all my stuff done quicker and then I wouldn't be online as much. And then I could like, you know, pay attention to the kids and stuff.

Turns out that's totally not the case.

Don't worry, I'm half kidding. I still watch the kids, I've just become a master of breastfeeding while blogging. [Sorry, TMI I'm sure] I think that's a sign of dependancy. I'm also pretty sure I don't care. As long as no one starves to death or starts juggling knives I think we're good and I'll continue to go about my bloggy business.

Part of that bloggy business includes winning prizes. Wifey has awarded me an advance signed copy of her book! Okay, I totally never win anything. Besides being awesome, I think it's a sign. I'm supposed to spend a lot of time online...it serves the greater purpose. If you consider me winning things a greater purpose.

Another part of my bloggy biz is being tagged for Memes by Erin. I'm honored that she thought of me and wanted to see inside my brain! So I'm pushing back the fog and climbing through the cobwebs to do the "Five Things" meme. Here goes:

Top Fives:

5 things you cannot live without under $10 [YAY! Something cheap after my own heart!]

DIET PEPSI. My body is 25% Diet Pepsi.

Mini-Reeses Peanut Butter Cups. Mmmmm deliciousness.

Spiral Notebooks. If I don't have them I have HUGE paper piles of things that I write down because I don't want to forget. Now I just have huge piles of spiral notebooks. And some loose paper piles for those times when I couldn't find a notebook that still had paper left. Okay, I'm a mess.

Marie Callanders Frozen Dinners. Just as good as the restaurant-$2.50 per meal-not cooking dinner PRICELESS.

Also, at the moment, CONDOMS for obvious reasons. It's okay...I can say condoms. I'm married.

5 favourite movies

I can never pick my favorites!! I'll just tell you the last five I watched and liked. Serenity (freaking awesome-I've seen it 100 times but the writing is JUST SO GOOD), V for Vendetta, Waitress (that new Keri Russel movie), Martian Child (I * John Cusak), and Accepted (crazy comedy but still good).

5 Baby names you love(but won’t use)

I'm not using ANY more baby names because we're definately not in the market for any more rugrats. If we were graced with a "surprise" baby though hubby likes Grant for a boy and Portia for a girl and I like the names Jaxon for a boy and Piper for a girl. By the way-none of these our the super top secret names of Monkey and Baby Bug.

5 songs you could listen to over and over:

It changes every day. My favorite artists are slightly more permanant, but everything fluctuates. Right now I'm listening to Ray Charles, a lot of The Cranberries, some Nirvana, throw in a little DrDre (for when I feel like a homie....secretly when the kids aren't around) and Trace Adkins. See why it's hard for me to pin down my favorites?? I listen to pretty much everything!

5 Things that stay in your purse all the time:

I don't put anything but the necessities in there really. Let's see...uh....keys (so I don't loose em), loose change, (cause it falls out), my wallet, uh....candy wrappers? and....uh....lint?

5 obsessions you have right now:

Oh THIS is easy: the pursuit of sleep, blogging, the pursuit of a long hot bath instead of a short cold shower, blogging, and the kids. I'm always obsessed with the kids.

5 places you would really love to go:
To sleep, to the beach, to my parent's house, to sleep, and to Ireland. But only if they move Ireland to a place I can get to without traveling on a boat or plane.

5 people you would love to see do their top 5

Whoever wants to!! I don't want anyone to feel obligated, but I WILL be lurking around looking to see other people's answers if they post them *

Because I'm just that obsessed with blogging at the moment.

Mommy: Open 8 Days A Week, 36 Hours A Day

My kids are running me 24/7. There are a lot of good things happening and sometimes I just love this whole mommy business. Baby bug is doing amazing-she was a month old Saturday and she already is lifting her head up for a couple seconds and can almost almost roll over (her arm kinda gets in the way but she can get from her back to her side all by herself) and she is such a fiesty little wiggle worm! She can even scoot and wiggle herself around her crib on her back!

Awww*

Monkey is doing great too. He is very excited about our Wi-Fi high speed internet that is coming tommarow. Not as excited as mommy is, but pretty close. Not because he likes the internet (truth be told, Captain Destructo isn't even allowed on the computer at this time). No, he's excited because "It's Com-tas-kick". Like the commercial? Oh yes. He followed me around all day telling me "Mommy! Our hemputer [computer] is Comtaskick tomarrow! It's FIVE TIMES FASTER. It's Comcaskick!!!!"

Maybe he watches too much tv.

The kids are so cute. They also have the energy of wind up toys on crack. Seriously, if I had half their energy I'd need a downer just to get to sleep at night. As it is I get no sleep because of their..um..."enthusiasm for life". If only there were more days in a week and more hours in a day.

Sometimes the kids' energy and my lack of sleep have unintended horrible consequences. Like today whe I might have kind of sorta decapitated my husband. Verbally of course. I just kind of opened my mouth and a bunch of word vomit came out about how he never watches the kids and I ALWAYS watch the kids and he doesn't really appreciate me so I'm just going to run away from home. Oh-I-did-so tell my husband I was going to run away from home. I was only kind of kidding. When I went to the store to get a soda I walked instead of driving so I could blow off steam and I felt like a little kid putting their teddy in the suitcase and walking to the end of the block...just so their parents know they're serious. Not that my husband thought for a second that I was really running away from home. Our coversation went something like this:

Me: Why can't you watch the kids so that I can get some stuff done?

Hubby: Well, I'm about to get ready for work and I really can't be late. [Damn his logic!]

Me: Fine. You do that. Go ahead and "get ready for work". Funny you always have to "do something" when I want a break. I'm with the kids every-waking-moment of every-waking-day and if I have to look at their grubby little faces for one more second I'm going to rip all my hair out and run naked down the street!!

Hubby: Mmmmmmm

Me: What?!

Hubby: You. Naked. Mmmmmm.

Me: Focus!! I am mad because you don't spend enough time with your children!! And you don't appreciate that I am making up for that by becoming their slave. [I get a little melodramatic sometimes]

Hubby: [He's trying to rub my back in "that way" ignores my complaints altogether]

Me: Whatever. I'm running away from home.

Hubby: Okay, go live with your best friend. Oh wait...that's me. So go live with your love-ah. Oh wait that's me too. Well, wherever you end up going I hope you have a good time. Get some rest-you sure are cranky when you don't sleep.

Me: Arrghbrrrpphh. I'm going to the store to get soda.

Hubby: Ooooh, I want a Mountain Dew. Thanks honey. I love you.

Me: [mumble mumble #possible explative# mumble mumble] I love you too...[sigh]

But wait-I know he sounds completely clueless and like he quite possibly IS insensitive...but wait! This is why I love him...

When I got back from the store he was writing a schedule. To see when he would have time to watch the kids so I could get some extra sleep/me time! Even after all the complaining I did, and after trying to pick a fight [okay, I'll admit it-I totally was] my husband can look past my miss pissy pants attitude to realize that it stems from my needs. And then, despite me and all my actions, he goes ahead and does his best to take care of me and make me happy.

My husband is the greatest man ever*

Construction Update!

So all, what do you think of the new blog layout? I'm pretty happy with it-not bad for a first design, huh? I now have the subscribe links up at the top [shameless hint] and I have a "recent posts" column over to the right there. I really like the format I came up with.

I am wondering a few things though--what do you think of the post font? I love it, but is it hard to read? There are those among us (hubby) who thinks it might be. Thoughts?

Also I changed the layout to only have two posts on the main page-is this awesome because it makes the page shorter and more snappy or a big bad idea because it limits the readily available posts?

I'd love to hear some of your comments to help make my page better!

And don't worry, I plan on posting an actual blog post later today. You know, about important things like my impending high speed internet and babies with collic.

Update:: Okay, I think the blog is done...for now at least. I'm sure it will end up being a continual work in progress. If you have an idea for something that would be cool or would make it easier/more pleasant to be here just let me know *

Under Construction! [Still Blogging Though!]

Okay, so I'm new to the blog world but I thought I'd try my hand at designing. Cause I don't have anything else going at 2am when I'm awake with the baby. It's a slow process because, like everything else, I have to do it with one hand behind my back--or rather holding the baby--but I'll get there.

As you see my blog changing PLEASE let me know what you think. Besides looking cool I also want it to be easy for you to get around. Here's hoping I can get completely finished by the end of the month!

Every Party Has An End

The Ultimate Blog Party is no more. Well, until next year! :) I had a great time looking at everyone's blogs and getting some inspirational blogger motivation. Everyone's blogs looked really great!

I ran into a lot of moms like me--Erin at Imperfect Mother (who's perfect anyway, right?) has a son who has a way with words that I found eerily similar to our own Monkey. Go check out why babies come from China! I also ran into Erin at Fully Alive...Ready to Smile. Besides her amazingly warm and friendly party post that just oozed with Donna Reid hospitality I get the feeling we have very similar experiences with kids and her blog is a great read! Plus I LOVE her layout. [Totally jealous.]

I found the blogs of a lot of bloggy newbies like myself as well. I really enjoyed Lorie, of At Home Mom. While she might be a new blogger she has 17 years in the homeschooling game, two grown children, two middle school aged children at home, and one new grandbaby and I really look forward to getting some good insights from her volumes of knowledge.

I was also happy to see that there were blogs from actual real life writers in there too. Wifey from Wifey's House has recently published her book about Newlyweds which because of her writing style I look forward to reading even if I don't get the advance copy! We also have similar ideas toward certain household chores...and nothing brings moms together like housekeeping philosophies!

Another real life writer/blogger I enjoyed reading was Marianne from Writer-Mommy. She had some very insightful comments here on my blog and cracked me up with her story about her toast fire!

Last, but certainly not least, I now have a spot saved in my heart and on my blogroll for Suzie from Up The Hill Backwards. She too has a big boy and a baby girl and the way she writes about them cracks me up! And I totally feel her about being a greedy blogger.

This party has, frankly, rocked my socks. And, to end it on a super high note, hubby and I have decided to finally FINALLY FINALLY get hi speed internet through the cable company! It'll be here on Tuesday...so that means I'll be here a lot more [and a LOT faster!].

Thanks everyone for stopping by. I hope you all had a great time and that I get to see you around here often!

Nervous Break Down

Okay, you remember all that lovey stuff I just posted about our son? Well, the sentimental feelings that happen at 2am have given way to the harsh light of trying to put the kid down for a nap.

AAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRGGGGGGG

As I speak I am ignoring him coming out of his room for the bizillionth time and pleading not to have a nap. I don't normally ignore him, but truth be told right now it is for his own good and to perserve my own morality. I have reached the point where I may not be able to spank within reason and nothing else has worked so I'm having a mommy time out. I have been trying to put him down to nap for the last two hours. THATS LONGER THAN NAPTIME. And here's the thing---we don't even make him sleep during nap. He just has to play quietly in his room with the OPTION to nap and today he won't even do that. Because he wants to play with his new birthday presents on the kitchen table not in his stinky old bedroom.

Life is so unfair.

And now I am going to admit to you one of my deepest-darkest-mommy secrets. Some days, when it has been especially rough, I fantasize about sending our kids to public school. I would love-in times like this-to shove my child onto a school bus and let him be someone else's problem for 8 hours a day. I even think about what it would be like to put BOTH of my children on a school bus someday and have the whole day to myself someday before they reach the age they can stay home alone.

And yet, even in my fantasies I run into two problems.

What, exactly, does a stay at home mom do when they have no children with them to mother? I mean, you can clean the house sure....but a house only gets so clean. And you could get all the errands done and the bills paid--but that would only take one day since you wouldn't have to do it in short bursts individualized to your child's attention span. And after that.......what? I mean, school is 8 hours a day so after cleaning and errands what do you do with the other 6 hours? I suppose you could spend them on yourself, but-and this is my opinion, so no body get hurt feelings-why be a stay at home mom if you're kids aren't home? I mean, I would feel like I should go out and get a job or something because sitting around watching daytime TV doesn't sound to me like doing my best for my family-and that's the whole reason I stay home.

Which brings me to problem two. No matter how upset I am, even in my wildest fantasies, I can't justify putting my children in public school. I am just so morally/philosophically opposed to sending my children there. I mean, there's a REASON that we're not only homeschoolers we're unschoolers. I have a philosophical problem not just with the teachers, and curriculum, and social situations, but with the system of public education itself.

So every time I think about sending my children to school I find myself feeling guilty for being even partially willing to fantasize about subjecting them to something that I find so emotionally damaging just to give myself a break.

Still, there are days-the ones where it's a constant up hill battle, which has usually been proceeded by a night of little to no sleep-where I just need a break. Or maybe just a nap. Unfortunately, hubby must work his hinie off (that whole four people one income thing-you understand) and we have no family within 8 hours that I would even consider allowing to watch our children for the day. Not even on my worst days.

So, if there are other homeschoolers reading, what do YOU do to keep your sanity on your crazy days at home?

Okay, I'm off again to try to arm wrestle my child into observing quiet time.

Happy Birthday Monkeypants!

4 years ago today our sweet little Monkeypants was born. On his birthdays I like to think about the story of him being born. Someday I intend to tell him the story, but for now I just reminice to myself. Partially because they are such precious memories, and partially because I want them to remain crystalized in my mind so that I can tell him and he can someday tell his own children the story of how he was born.

I went into the doctor at 4pm on March 12th. I'd been having a small amount of protien in my urine and a slightly elevated blood pressure so they wanted to keep me pretty closely monitored. Turns out that was for good reason. At my appointment that day they determined I had preeclampsia and they rushed me over to the hospital next door to induce.

I had a little bit of a head start-I was 1cm dilated and 100% effaced. That didn't seem to help much though. They started the pitocin at 7pm and it took 15 hours to get to 4cm. The good news was that up until that point it really didn't hurt to speak of. I was generally just mildly uncomfortable. I had leg cramps though. That sucked.

Problem was that after 15 hours and dilated to 4cm I landed in limbo. I stayed there for two hours not progressing and my contractions were slowing. So they cranked up the pitocin to full blast and broke my water...and about two seconds later that I decided I NEEDED THE EPIDURAL RIGHT FREAKING NOW AND IF I DIDN'T SEE THE ANESTHESOLOGIST IN THE NEXT FIVE SECONDS I WAS GOING TO GET OUT OF BED AND FIND HIM MYSELF!

Luckily the anesthesologist came to my rescue soon enough. I thank God for choosing in His wisdom (and mercy) to give man the ability and knowledge to create the masterpiece that is the Epidural. It's just my opinion, but I wouldn't have a baby without one. After I got the epi I played the square game (you know, when you connect the squares to make boxes and he with the most boxes once all the lines are connected wins?) for the next 8 hours. After 23 hours and 40 minutes of labor the doc announced it was time to push.

I pushed out Monkeypants in TWO PUSHES. No small feat considering that he's my first and that child was born with a 14.5 inch head. Oh yeah. Who's the mom? I'm the MOM. Heck yeah. [I'll totally admit I'm cabbage patching in my head right now.]

Monkeypants was born March 13, 2004 at 7:47pm. He was 7lbs 15oz and 20 3/4 inches long. He was (and still is) the most beautiful baby boy in the whole world. He looked at me with his big giant eyes and my heart melted. I kept telling him how happy I was to finally meet him and what a good job he did being born. And, of course, telling him over and over how much I loved him. And I did-it was absolutely love at first sight.

It still brings tears to my eyes to think of how beautful and amazing it was to see my baby for the first time. To finally be a mother. Even as I think of it now I get that fuzzy achy happy feeling in my heart...you know, that feeling you get when you are just overwhelmed with love for your baby?

And today that baby is 4 years old.

Time flies so fast. It's only been a blink since I held my precious first born in my arms and told him I was his mommy. Only a minute since I nursed him to sleep the first time and felt his soft little cheek nuzzle into me. Only just a moment since I looked into my baby's eyes and knew he was the reason I was born. To give birth to him.

Okay, maybe it's the post partum hormones talking (from Baby Bug-not from him!), but I'm going to go have a good cry and then crawl into my baby boy's bed and have some snuggle time. Because I know it'll be just another blink until he's all grown up.

Seriously For Real

It. Has. Taken. Me. Three. Days. To. Write........

This.

Post.

Seriously FOR REAL.

I didn't mean to abandon my blog in the middle of a party (great hostess, geez) but it seems we have been havinga series of momentous occasions and obsticles.

First the occasion-after accumulated months (years? who knows?) of begging, pleading, crying on both sides, cajoling,straight up bribing, and trial-and-error MONKEYPANTS FINALLY GAVE IN AND WENT POTTY! I say gave in because we havebeen trying to potty train him for a rediculously long time. And he has refused.

Is he afraid of the potty, you ask?

No. No he is not.

Is he incapable of some physical part of the pottying process (pulling down pants, sitting on potty, knowing the feeling of "I have to potty")?

No he most CERTAINLY is not.

Perhaps he is unable to follow directions, you may ask?

Oh, it's a selective thing I assure you. His body is capable though his heart is not always willing!

We have been banging our heads against the wall trying to get this kid to potty in the FLIPPING potty and up until Sunday. I was, at this point, weighing the morality and emotional implications of locking him and I in the bathroom for an entire day and duct taping his butt to the seat until he went. Seriously-for-real.

And then, on Sunday, he woke up from nap and spontaneously decided that it was potty time. He stripped naked in the hall, came over to me and said "I'm stinky now" then proceeded to walk into the bathroom, pull out the Dora potty seat, put it on the big boy potty, grabbed his step stool and just sat down.

And pottied.

And AIMED.

By himself.

Seriously. I am SUCH A PROUD MOMMY! Of course we called every grandma and grandpa and even daddy at work. We broke our cardinal rule and had ice cream before dinner. I would have thrown that child a ticker tape parade if he'd asked me to. CAUSE HE WENT POTTY!! Tears of joy...I'm just so...*choking up*...also, as a bonus, turns out I'M NOT A FAILURE! Even if he didn't do it until four days before his 4th birthday. Our little man is growing up!

Now if only it didn't take 45 minutes of potty sitting to pee for 15 seconds! One step at a time.

Besides this wonderful and long-in-coming event I have also been occupied because I have lost the use of one of my arms. Don't worry it's nothing medical or permanant. You see, Baby Bug has decided that despite that fact that she has a bouncer, a hammock, a bassinet, a crib, and the option of mommy and daddy's bed the only acceptable sleeping accomodations rest in mommy and/or daddy's arms.

The minute we put her down she cries. And I don't mean little kitten mewing cry either. I mean like "my butt is on fire" type of screaming. The type of screaming that makes your neighbors shake their head when they see you standing in the kitchen with no baby in your arms but the baby "obviously needs you". Little do they know that she has been sleeping/nursing in my arms for the last 7 hours straight and that the reason I put her down was because my arm went so numb I was afraid I would drop her. It was for her own safety!! I am not ignoring my child!! And even if I was...I have to file that under the category of Nunya.

My husband has also decided that he has needs. He has excellent timing, no? His needs are very simple in his eyes-a house that does not look as if it has been ravaged by a tornado. And...ahem..."marital relations".

Okay, first of all my house IS ravaged by a tornado. Everyday Cyclone Monkeypants goes on a destructo rampage dumping his toys everywhere and hiding his peanut butter and jelly crusts when I'm not looking. And the only people available to pick these things up is a 4 year old with a relatively short attention span and a one (available) armed mommy. We make an effort but I would NOT advise eating off of the floor. Some days I wouldn't even advise eating off the table.

And as for mommy-daddy-fun-time-well, this was recieved with hearty laughter and then a moment of silence after I realized he wasn't joking. Don't get me wrong-my husband is a sexy piece of man booty. I am proud to call him my other half, I still fawn all over him like a 16 year old girl, and I think it would be fair to say that I feel no small amount of lust towards him. Seriously for real, my husband is a smoking hottie. I feel pretty honored that he, for whatever strange reason, seems to be ravenously turned on by a dumpy mother of two who practically lives in her bathrobe. However, I fail to see how the whole thing work out logistically speaking.

I would perfer not to make love to the sounds of a screaming banchee-which would be our background music if we put Baby Bug in her bassinet even for a second. Also, since there is very little sleeping going on around here I cannot gaurantee with certainty that laying in bed for any reason would not render me immediately unconscious. That would certainly be ego bruising no matter how much I reassured him that I had very pleasant dreams about him after passing out.

Also-and possibly most importantly-the only form of birth control we are currently able to use are condoms and I put condoms in the same category as four leaf clovers, rabbits foots, lucky pennies, and wishful thinking. If it works it's a fluke.

Needless to say if my husband even thought about accidentally knocking me up right now I would have a freaking hissy fit. The good news is that if we did get pregnant again so soon I would make HIM call my parents and explain to them how he got me pregnant a month after our second baby was born. Now those would be some appropriate consequences.

Yep...I have been busy busy busy. Spending 90% of my daytime hours in the bathroom as potty cheerleader and 95% of my entire day with a newborn in my arms while attempting to unbury the house without looking "too sexy" in front of my overzealous (delusional?!) but well intentioned hubby keeps me on my toes. See? I am rediculously full of (good and totally legitamate) excuses for my spurratic blogging and poor hostess skills. But 0n the plus side, at least when I do return I come bearing stories!

Mommy Runs Away

Okay, I didn't really run away. I'm still in my house and stuff. I'm even within ear shot to hear my kids screaming and the gnashing of my husband's teeth. And I almost almost feel bad. But-need I remind myself-I stay home with both kids all by myself for 10 hours a day 5 days a week and I'm not dead or insane or anything. Well, not completely.

No, I cannot allow myself to feel guilty-because today is the day that mommy runs away. Do you have any idea what I'm doing right now? I am in my bedroom and ON THE INTERNET! At the same time! Do you know how such a feat is accomplished? With my new spiffy laptop. Tis the season of tax returns, folks, and that means I get my very own blogalicious laptop to use in my very own bedroom. It's enough to make me feel like a real life grown up.

This mini-vacation is also brought to you by Carnation Good Start Formula. [Woo Hoo] Baby Bug got to the point in the last couple of days where she was LITERALLY nursing every 30 minutes AROUND THE CLOCK because she'd only nurse for 5 minutes no matter how I tried. Since she wasn't nursing enough to get hind milk, she was still only 6lbs 10oz at her last check up. Which isn't bad, considering she dropped to 5lbs 12oz after she was born, but it's not great either. So we have decided to supplement her diet with formula (mixed with breastmilk instead of water) to get her to gain a little weight and give mommy a break from nursing more than a dairy cow.

Which means right now my husband is entertaining and wrangling the children all by himself while I lay in bed, get some leisurely blogging in, and then SLEEP UNTIL I WAKE UP ON MY OWN...which I haven't done since before I was pregnant with Baby Bug. Oh sweet sleep! I have missed you!

Too bad I'm so excited I can't sleep.

Better Late Than Never--Let's Party!

I have come across something wonderful. More than wonderful, it's the Ultimate. Blog. Party. And I need an excuse to party with my internet homies. Or homitas (if that's a word?) since this here is an all-girl party. If you're here from the Party, welcome!

Okay who am I kidding-of course your here from the party. My blog is so new it is pretty much lost in the vasty expanse of the internet. But that's okay, it's that whole "cool to be obscure" emo vibe...without all the emo.

Before I ramble on too far and lose you entirely, let me introduce myself. I am Person (Also Known As Mommy). I am a young mom and wife. Though I never plan on mentioning my exact age. I am married to Hubby, and I am a stay at home mommy/child wrangler to our son Monkeypants who will be 4 years old next Thursday and our daughter Baby Bug who was 3 weeks old yesterday. The lack of sleep combined with the insanity heriditary from child to parent may be why my writing is mostly just funny to me. Sleep deprivation does funny things to your brain.

This blog is just a jumbly of all things running in my brain. Sometimes I like to talk about things that are more serious-like Unschooling or Politics-but mostly I just like to laugh. At myself. Cause I'm a dork.

Some day I aspire to be like my current blog sensais (who may or may not even know that I am reading their pages Every. Single. Day. like an obsessed fan) FiddleDeeDee and Helen. Their blogs are very well done and, more importantly, hilarious.

During the Blog Party I hope to mingle with many more blog sensais and get some inspiration in the way of the Blogger to help me to tell my own story....even if I'm mostly just talking to myself.

Midnight Musings

Due to the amount of sleep that mommy is getting (NONE) and the security level of mommy's sanity (CODE RED) Monkeypants' bedtime has been moved up thirty minutes from 8pm to 730.

Because that one half hour will change the course of my night.

Don't get me wrong-I still feel like a totall meanie head for it-but God knows if I don't get some sleep sometime in the near vacinity of SOON I'm going to pass out into a pile of diapers. [What? They're clean.]

Last night the Baby Bug slept for-literally-10 minutes at a time from midnight until 8 am this morning. What that means is that just as soon as I was done nursing her I had exactly enough time to burp her, put her in her bassinet, and lay my head on the pillow before she would start doing her little kitten mew...which is cute, to be sure, but is also a signal that she is going to explode into a cacophany of major screaming if I don't pick her up in the next minute or so.

So I pick her up-don't want to wake up Daddy. I mean, I may have fanatsies about giving him a million tiny papercuts all over his stupid-sleeping-body....but as long as he was still able to sleep I know he wouldn't mind.

Honestly, I am not prone to day dreaming about physically harming my husband. I actually like him a whole lot. It's just hard to remember that when I haven't slept in 10 months and I am rocking our gassy newborn to the sound of the UNGODLY-LOUD snoring of a man who sleeps a whole 8 hours a night.

About once an hour I find myself laying between Hubby McSawmill and Baby Cries A Lot thinking about "accidentally" bashing my husband in the face until he wakes up...or, more passive agressively, pretending to be asleep until the sounds of our wailing children (since Baby Bug would undoubtedly wake up Monkeypants) arouse him from his dreamy night-night land. But alas, I feel guilty even thinking the thoughts, so I always get up with Her Royal Poopiness.

After I do though, I am always glad I did. There is something so sweet and happy about midnight feedings. It's like a special time for just me and her where we can snuggle and whisper together until she falls asleep happy in my arms. Then I can look at my baby when she's at her cutest (all children are at their cutest when they are sleeping) and admire the way her little hand curls over my finger and the way she sticks out her teeny tiny tongue in her sleep just like a baby kitten. It's then that I have time to think about how wonderful my children are, how smart and beautiful they both are, how I couldn't live without them. I think about my husband, and how blessed I am to have such an amazing lover, partner, and best friend. I can revel in the thoughts of what a great daddy he is and think about how wonderful it will be to grow old together and someday see the faces of our own little grandchildren-the children of my own precious babies!

Then I lay our girl in her sweet little bassinet, lay my head on the pillow...and once again hear the sounds of an imminently screaming baby. At which point I start wondering if I give Hubby a papercut on his nose if it will wake him or be just enough to get the snoring to stop.